Ex wants to take me to court

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  • #55494 Report


    My ex and I split 4 years ago, over those years he has become less and less reliable and more and more inconsistent when it comes to having our two kids. He uses the kids to prevent me from moving on with my life.

    This year alone he’s seen the kids twice, once in January and once in April which is not my doing.

    Last week i asked him yet again to commit to a set day and times to have the kids and stick to it, he wouldn’t respond. Today being Father’s Day we hadn’t heard from him all weekend until this morning (Sunday) when he demanded to have them. I had already made plans for us so relayed that to him and said I’d drop them off to him for a few hours in our way home. He went ballistic, told me he’s cutting my weekly maintenance by half because he pays more than the CSA have advised, says he’s not going to see the kids at all and is going to take me to court for access which I’ve never denied him. He’s told our daughter that I’m stopping him from seeing them as well. If he does take me to court will there be any financial impact for me and also our kids are 13 and 9 so will they have a say about what they’d want to do? I’d like him to see the children regularly if I didn’t I’d be cutting my nose off to spite my face as I don’t have any time to myself and would if he had them. The only issue I have with him having them is all he does is take them to his local where he spends most of his time and also his girlfriend is not really someone anyone would want round their kids, if it went to court could I specify that the kids aren’t allowed around her?

    #55504 Report

    Hi Flimzy1

    I’m Michelle one of the Moderators here.  This sounds like a very difficult set of circumstances.  From what you’ve said you likely need professional advice with the questions that you’re asking.  Here are some links to services that may be able to guide you towards the best steps to take here:

    Rights of Women – Free, confidential legal advice by telephone for women on a wide variety of issues. Specialist areas include family law and domestic violence. https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law/

    Child Law Advice Service – Provide legal advice on family law issues related to children, they have information on their website, and a helpline staffed by legal specialists 0300 330 5480  https://childlawadvice.org.uk/

    Family Rights Group – They advise around options where decisions have been made by the courts or social workers around their children’s welfare 0808 801 0366  https://www.frg.org.uk/

    Family Law Panel – A free directory service for members of the public to access professional and independent family law information. Solicitors offer an initial free advice session. N.B. Professionals who can offer support with Domestic Violence are listed with a purple ribbon next to their name. https://thefamilylawpanel.org/categories/1

    Civil Legal Advice Helpline – Find out whether you qualify for legal aid and get details of local family law solicitors that provide advice and representation funded by legal aid 0345 345 4 345  https://www.gov.uk/civil-legal-advice

    LawWorks – A charity working in England and Wales to connect volunteer lawyers with people in need of legal advice, who are not eligible for legal aid and cannot afford to pay and with the not-for-profit organisations that support them.  https://www.lawworks.org.uk/

    You may also find the following info pages within the Gingerbread site helpful:

    Contact arrangements for single parents – Gingerbread

    Help when you can’t agree | Gingerbread

    I hope that helps

    Kind regards


    #55516 Report



    if he takes you to court, it wouldn’t make any sense as you have been encouraging him to see the kids more. court can easily arrange for set days, for him to see kids every other weekend for example. but he is under no obligation to stick to those arrangements. he would still be free to refuse to have the kids on those set days/weekends.  As  one of your child is 13, then his/her wishes and feelings will carry a lot of weight with social worker/court.

    with financial impact, it will be an issue if you choose to appoint a solicitor/barrister to represent you. If your on low income or on benefits, then you may be entitled to legal aid.

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