Ex threatening to go for full custody

[theyogajeanieParticipant]

On the back of my last post, my ex is now threatening to take me to court for full custody of our girls because ‘I can’t cope with them’. It’s absolute nonsense- I have had them for three weeks on the bounce while he has been on holiday/ at a wedding with his girlfriend when our court order states 50-50! But there’s a nagging in my mind that won’t go away. Is there actually a basis on which he can be granted this? I’m a good mother- my girls have everything they need, they’re happy and healthy with me. Has anyone else ever had this threatened?xx

[SOLOMUMMYParticipant]

This is as a result of your refusing him his children due to his girlfriend doing the childcare?

He’s within his rights to go to court.  It would onyx though impact on the holiday time moving forward.  It won’t reflect well on your though if you’re seen as being pedantic and obstructive when there’s no safeguarding reason for preventing contact.

It’s a typical response to threaten court when one parent believes that the other is behaving beyond unreasonable.

My suggestion is to just share the holidays as per the agreement.

[theyogajeanieParticipant]

It seems that you’ve missed the point that he clearly thinks he can pick and choose when he sees his children to suit his own needs. He has been on holiday and has chosen to attend the wedding of someone he doesn’t know instead of having them when it’s his weekend with the girls. So- it’s ok for me to have them when he requires childcare because he’s busy with his girlfriend? I do not think my stance is unreasonable.

[SOLOMUMMYParticipant]

I think that you’re also missing that being so rigid in your approach isn’t the healthiest way forward.

Even if he goes to court, a court cannot make him have the children when he doesn’t want to!

Sono I haven’t missed your point, I just don’t think that a court will view your stance as Uber reasonable. Being awkward isn’t a healthy approach when coparenting.

[KathymumofoneParticipant]

Unfortunately, the courts can stipulate when you must make your children available for access, but he cannot be compelled to turn up. Legally, he can pick and choose !

I know it’s annoying, I have much the same issue. However, you have years of co-parenting to get through. You need to decide on a strategy that is best for your children, causes you the least stress – because constant disagreement can make you bitter, and is easiest to live with.

I bargained my way through, he wants me to flex so I have extra days at Xmas or my preference at half term in return.

Choose your battles, it will save you a lot of stress & grey hairs.🍷

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