Ex taking a full time job in Saudi – worried he will not maintain contact ..

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  • #35113 Report


    My ex has decided to take a full time job in Saudi

    we have 4 old son together, he claims that he is going to call every night to say goodnight – throwing maintenance at me isn’t parenting .. he just doesn’t get it , he won’t commit to when he is going to see him .. he seems to be completely separated from any emotion but then that’s just him isn’t it – hence the marriage breakdown

    Seems over the moon to be jetting out there and leaving everything behind to me

    bills … rent .. I work full time as well as study … I just feel so abandoned and I’m worried my son will too

    can anyone help x



    #35251 Report


    If he’s working in Saudi, he is likely to be very well paid, so find yourself a regular babysitter and get a written quote for one full day per weekend and one evening a week, every week.

    You cannot be expected to be “on duty” 24/7/365 while he swans off and does nothing.  Bank the money to use when ill or to pay for a cleaner etc, so you have spare time.

    In the end, only he can commit to calling his child though.

    #35349 Report


    Hey there,

    Don’t ever believe he will call every night to say good night.

    Just count on yourself!

    I am living and working abroad without any friends and support of course, anything is possible

    You can handle your situation, you need to believe yourself first.


    I am working on middle east, as Kathy mentioned he gets a well paid jobs.


    #35350 Report


    Oh it’s well paid without a doubt

    whether our child will benefit from that is beyond thought right now

    financial commitment doesn’t resolve the missing parent issue

    #35351 Report



    Money doesn’t buy you anything.

    But most of people think differently!

    It is so sad but it’s true.


    #35353 Report


    Have to disagree. Money buys you a lot of things. And as previous poster said, it ensures a break for you – so that you can be a better mum.

    It may not help very much but so many of us have to be two parents rather than one, because either the other parent is absent, incapacitated by illness, or just doesn’t give a damn.

    My ex is a fair distance away in Uk a few hundred miles. Someone on here remarked recently that that may be a good thing as at least I get some respite from his attitude. And on a day to day basis he doesn’t interfere with my parenting which is such a blessing.

    In the end hon, if I might call you that, my feeling is that if he doesn’t want to be involved there is one and only one person that loses, and actually it is him, not your child. Children are of course not stupid and if someone really doesn’t care enough to do what they say they are going to do, then the child notices.

    I wish I were in your position. My ex holds money over me like a damocles sword. Has not idea what things cost, does not support emotionally or any which other way…

    good luck



    #35354 Report


    Re the child notices. Actually the person who really doesn’t care becomes irrelevant to the child.

    If that is what this guy wants, then fine. Let him have it.

    His loss

    #35355 Report


    Sometimes you need help, you need support and definitely need love!

    You can’t buy it these with money.

    In these days, even with well paid job

    I am not satisfied! And can’t buy anything with money

    #35357 Report


    Thank you for your comment s x.

    #35360 Report


    As previous posters have said.

    Money buys you a cleaner (so that you have more time to spend with your child and quality time).

    Money brings you less worry about the bills (so that you are less stressed when you are with your child)

    Money brings you potential days out and fun activities with your child. Or on your own.

    It is really about being pragmatic. Previous poster was right. As a single parent very sensible to book a day off at the weekend and a babysitter in the week.

    Not rocket science

    #35364 Report


    Wow at least he has a job!

    #35366 Report


    All non resident parents must pay child maintenance, that is the law. Money don’t bring happiness but that is something that we shouldn’t have to justify, as maintenance it’s a legal obligation from the non resident parent. Unfortunately my ex too doesn’t care to see his child or have anything to do with him. That is not a normal human behaviour. We will be fine in the long run @dragonfly83

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