Ex taking a full time job in Saudi – worried he will not maintain contact ..
10 January 2020 at 2:24 pm #35113
My ex has decided to take a full time job in Saudi
we have 4 old son together, he claims that he is going to call every night to say goodnight – throwing maintenance at me isn’t parenting .. he just doesn’t get it , he won’t commit to when he is going to see him .. he seems to be completely separated from any emotion but then that’s just him isn’t it – hence the marriage breakdown
Seems over the moon to be jetting out there and leaving everything behind to me
bills … rent .. I work full time as well as study … I just feel so abandoned and I’m worried my son will too
can anyone help x10 January 2020 at 4:37 pm #35251
If he’s working in Saudi, he is likely to be very well paid, so find yourself a regular babysitter and get a written quote for one full day per weekend and one evening a week, every week.
You cannot be expected to be “on duty” 24/7/365 while he swans off and does nothing. Bank the money to use when ill or to pay for a cleaner etc, so you have spare time.
In the end, only he can commit to calling his child though.10 January 2020 at 7:47 pm #35349
Don’t ever believe he will call every night to say good night.
Just count on yourself!
I am living and working abroad without any friends and support of course, anything is possible
You can handle your situation, you need to believe yourself first.
I am working on middle east, as Kathy mentioned he gets a well paid jobs.10 January 2020 at 7:54 pm #35350
Oh it’s well paid without a doubt
whether our child will benefit from that is beyond thought right now
financial commitment doesn’t resolve the missing parent issue10 January 2020 at 8:01 pm #35351
Money doesn’t buy you anything.
But most of people think differently!
It is so sad but it’s true.10 January 2020 at 8:10 pm #35353
Have to disagree. Money buys you a lot of things. And as previous poster said, it ensures a break for you – so that you can be a better mum.
It may not help very much but so many of us have to be two parents rather than one, because either the other parent is absent, incapacitated by illness, or just doesn’t give a damn.
My ex is a fair distance away in Uk a few hundred miles. Someone on here remarked recently that that may be a good thing as at least I get some respite from his attitude. And on a day to day basis he doesn’t interfere with my parenting which is such a blessing.
In the end hon, if I might call you that, my feeling is that if he doesn’t want to be involved there is one and only one person that loses, and actually it is him, not your child. Children are of course not stupid and if someone really doesn’t care enough to do what they say they are going to do, then the child notices.
I wish I were in your position. My ex holds money over me like a damocles sword. Has not idea what things cost, does not support emotionally or any which other way…
jj10 January 2020 at 8:11 pm #35354
Re the child notices. Actually the person who really doesn’t care becomes irrelevant to the child.
If that is what this guy wants, then fine. Let him have it.
His loss10 January 2020 at 8:23 pm #35355
Sometimes you need help, you need support and definitely need love!
You can’t buy it these with money.
In these days, even with well paid job
I am not satisfied! And can’t buy anything with money10 January 2020 at 8:29 pm #35357
Thank you for your comment s x.10 January 2020 at 9:26 pm #35360
As previous posters have said.
Money buys you a cleaner (so that you have more time to spend with your child and quality time).
Money brings you less worry about the bills (so that you are less stressed when you are with your child)
Money brings you potential days out and fun activities with your child. Or on your own.
It is really about being pragmatic. Previous poster was right. As a single parent very sensible to book a day off at the weekend and a babysitter in the week.
Not rocket science10 January 2020 at 9:57 pm #35364
Wow at least he has a job!10 January 2020 at 10:04 pm #35366
All non resident parents must pay child maintenance, that is the law. Money don’t bring happiness but that is something that we shouldn’t have to justify, as maintenance it’s a legal obligation from the non resident parent. Unfortunately my ex too doesn’t care to see his child or have anything to do with him. That is not a normal human behaviour. We will be fine in the long run @dragonfly83