Ex partners interfering new partner

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  • #55378 Report

    Isnstumummy
    Participant
    1. Myself and my ex have been over for 18 months but have a 3yr old and 11 month old together. The relationship was over but we still were sleeping together up until 4 months ago. Flirty texts etc still sent til 20 days ago. Anyway I noticed he’d changed when collecting our son n asked if he was in a relationship he totally denied it and went in his way with our son. My son returned the next day early as he’d asked his dad to go home which isn’t like him. I ask my son did you have a good time at dad’s he froze n looked at me lost. After asking him again whilst we sat down to eat I said so did you have a fantastic time with dad he replies am I going that lady’s again next time I see dad. Gobsmacked as he’d said 48hrs previous to this that he’s broken n won’t have another partner. He’s blocked me since bringing son home and I woke this morning to a message from the new girlfriend asking if she can pick the kids up for him to see! Message after message of am I going to let him have the kids I’m being spiteful etc. What should I he’s already lied to me and taken my son somewhere he felt uncomfortable
    #55406 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    I think the children should be put first. he may have a new partner, but I don’t think that should be a reason to cut off his relationship with his child. seems childish of him to block you.

    #55407 Report

    Isnstumummy
    Participant

    His new partner has made him block me due to him still trying his luck only 22days ago yet 11days after he’s taking our 3yr old to meet her. She’s now pushing for him to have the kids at hers for father’s Day weekend but it has to be done through her she’ll pick them up etc I’ve never even met her their clearly not stable.

    #55424 Report

    blossom4
    Participant

    I understand where your coming from I totally agree with you. Stand your ground you know your child he shouldn’t be putting your son in that situation. Not fair on your son at all he’s only little doesn’t know your ex girlfriend. At the end of the day if your not comfortable with your son getting in a car with ex girlfriend then that is your choice as his mother. As he previously lied to you already told you not got a girlfriend then son came back told you different. End of the day 3years don’t lie! you got every right not send your child with someone don’t even know ect.
    Your ex should of had a discussed with you about this situation before hand before going behide your back should discussed the whole situation about introducing girlfriend to your child before doing it. If this was me in your situation no way my child is getting in a car with my ex girlfriend when they havent been introduced to me before hand or We haven’t even discussed this. Not fair on your son your ex girlfriend should know better.  Poor little boy probably confused going to some women house he doesn’t even know. Make sure keep a diary or something off this and keep the texts ect. Been in the situation myself not nice at all from you or the children. I got a child arrangement order done in the end best choice I every made.  Maybe if things get worse look into getting a child arrangement order done then he will have to follow the order.   Instead thinking he can do what he likes! But this behaviour doesn’t look good on him as a dad should be putting his children first before anyone or girlfriend!

    #55425 Report

    Isnstumummy
    Participant

    Thank you for understanding. His girlfriend has said I’m being spiteful by not letting him see the children because he’s now with her. I made it very clear I ended the relationship 18months ago whilst pregnant with our daughter n I also told ur man to do one two weeks ago and the only reason is haulted contact was because my son wasn’t the same when he brought him home. He’s since blocked me and it’s all been through this new woman telling me what’s best for my kids.

    #55426 Report

    blossom4
    Participant

    I would keep a diary all this keep the texts from ex girlfriend ect.. what your son has said ect..

    Look into getting so advice about the situation. I wouldn’t even consider texts ex girlfriend back got nothing to do with her! I would just send a texts ex girlfriend saying I’m not having any more conversations about anything with you. Say I’m only going throw my ex as we both are The parents to our children.

    He simply doesn’t want to unblock you then he just doesn’t want see his children leave him to it..

    I would recommend looking into child arrangement order getting advice. The court would go  into him for blocking you. You don’t have to go through his girlfriend got nothing to do with her.

    #55428 Report

    Isnstumummy
    Participant

    Thank you for your advice I shall be logging it all I’ve saved the messages from her. It’s very strange as son usually asks for his dad or tells me I miss my dad but since his return from an over night stay last week he’s not mentioned him.

    #55434 Report

    Gummibear
    Blocked

    I would hold off all contact until he can man up and be straight with you.If he wants to co parent it will be impossible if it goes on like this and it will likely do your son’s head in as well.Poor child.The girl friend obviously is a bit lacking in tact and common sense and should not be interfering.There’s no way you’de find me just trusting my kids to some strange woman out of the blue.Is she for real?

    #55435 Report

    Isnstumummy
    Participant

    This evening I have been bombarded with messages asking why I’m be awkward and she will act as third party and collect the kids telling me it’s the kids my ex wants to not me I stated that I don’t want to see him either and that I had kids with him not her it’s nothing to do with her and why can’t he man up and ask himself his suggestions of contact. She didn’t like my response so sent a voicemail recorded message on Facebook shouting and being feisty so I blocked her. What’s next??and why does she think it’s in her rights to be trying push me into handing his kids over to her I wasnt called a control freak mother I’ll take that as a compliment as what mother. Isnt protective of her children

    #55436 Report

    neenee87
    Participant

    I can relate hun, its so frustrating!! ill be straight saying it its nothing to do with her.

    Her behaviour is very intimidating towards you, she obviously is being encouraged by your ex. I would question why SHE’S behaving like that??

    My ex boyfriends girlfriend was constantly fed lies from him and her behaviour was because of him. From my experience when these women behave like that it shows insecurities and they can latch onto their partners children in order to secure their relationship. I becareful hun, she will end up calling you a bad mum next.

    Stand your ground and keep a record off EVERYTHING..

    If he cant man up and face you then i would hold contact til he can co parent with you and set boundaries in order to protect yourself.

    hope this helps xxx

    #55461 Report

    Isnstumummy
    Participant

    Despite blocking her on social media my ex has given her my number and I’m now receiving text from her telling me they’ve made sleeping arrangements for my children and can she collect them for my ex!! I’ve never met her she’s not put across that’s she’s a nice person due to leaving me snappy voice messages. I’m ignoring her texts. When does this all end?? And why can’t my kids dad communicate with me about our children why’s it have to be through her.

    #55476 Report

    Rdf24
    Participant

    I don’t k ow where you stand legally but if I were you I would stop responding to this woman and certainly wouldn’t be letting a complete stranger collect your kids from you. It sounds like a horrible position for you to have been put in.

    #55477 Report

    Isnstumummy
    Participant

    I don’t understand why my children’s father can’t ask himself it’s all through the new girlfriend. I’m not responding to her I replied a few days ago saying it’s not for her to be asking me and it’s nothing to do with her about child contact and my children. She didn’t like me saying that stated my ex doesn’t want to see me and she’d be 3rd party.

    #55698 Report

    Realinterested
    Participant

    Hi I am new to this but have a similar situation.  I have two children aged 8 and 11 an they see their dad fortnightly but don’t stay overnight.  we had mediation in July last year via zoom and he didn’t mention a new girlfriend.  Then on next contact visit he told the kids he had a new partner.  Didn’t discuss this with me.  Since then he has introduced his girlfriend without warning to my daughter and she has met her 2 times. My son was given the choice on our doorstep when she was in the car (no real choice).  Both my kids have said that they don’t mind seeing their dad but don’t want to stop overnight with him.  (along story but he has never had the kids overnight alone even when we were married).  Both children have said they prefer to just see dad but his girlfriend seems to now be part of the package.  Both of them work away from home during the week and then apparently my ex goes to his flat (owned by the girlfriend) which is approx 3 hour drive away. He says they live together and then says they are going to live together?.  My children can’t talk to their dad, they don’t answer the phone when he rings (which he doesn’t anymore), he sends messages on their iPads where my son answers but my daughter just ignores.  He doesn’t talk to me as he says I am controlling yet he now has a girlfriend who seems to be telling him what to do.  She doesn’t respect the children’s wishes because she says that the children have a right to know both families and they are being damaged by not seeing my ex’s extended family.  He is also taking me to court for overnight access even though both children have said they don’t want this.  Yet when my children decide they don’t want to see him on contact or one goes but the other doesn’t he doesn’t even try to persuade the other to come.  I think he is on the autistic spectrum and members of his own family have said this to me as well.  Even his barrister at our divorce hearing thought this was the case.  My daughter is also showing traits and an assessment has been booked but he just replies when I ask will he consider an assessment “not at the moment”.  Any thoughts comments would be appreciated.  His new girlfriend is a nurse and she and the ex are refusing to have the COVID vaccine and think that this is responsible, even though I am a vulnerable group (i have had my vaccines) but they can’t see that the children could still get the virus and pass it on.  Feels like I am talking to a brick wall!

     

    thanks sorry for the long post

    #55719 Report

    Gumibear123
    Blocked

    Good Morning.

    I’m sorry you’re going through such a frustrating and upsetting time.

    He sounds very thoughtless and insensitive-which are both normal behaviours for people on the autistic spectrum as you probably know all too well.Don’t worry about them not having the vaccine,if they catch it from the kids half your problems might be sorted one way or another and it won’t even be your fault.So that might be a positive thing😉

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)

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