Ex-partner wanting holidays and not sticking to arrangement

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  • #10644 Report

    Tombliboo
    Participant

    Hi, I’ve been separated from partner for 4 years now. He has our 2 children age 10 and 7 three nights a week.

    All works out well and the kids are really well adjusted. Unfortunately for the past 2 years he has had a new partner. They are always wanting to go on holidays together. I try to accommodate when I can but am getting a little resentful as it means him expecting me to juggle my days at work (I work all my hours around when I have the kids so when they are with him on a Monday I work a very long day).

    What I cannot stand is the fact that he shouts at me and demands that I do this for him. In front of the kids too. He then bad mouthes me to the kids.

    I never ask him to have the kids extra than his 3 nights a week, if I want a holiday I may have a 2 or 3 night break on the nights they are with him.

    I know we need to sit down and work it out when the kids aren’t around, in all honesty though he still scares me and I don’t want to be in a room alone with him discussing something he gets very agitated about. I know there’s mediation but I can’t afford it!

    The kids are getting upset now and I think they are starting to realise he is putting his partner as a priority over them which is heart breaking to see.

    Sorry for the long rant! Any advice gratefully received!

    #10649 Report

    Empty
    Participant

    Publicly funded mediation: http://find-legal-advice.justice.gov.uk

    #10719 Report

    Tombliboo
    Participant

    Thanks so much for your reply.

    Its a great idea to do it via email.

    Unfortunately we never went to court or had an official contact agreement arranged, we worked it out between ourselves.

    He does this about three times a year. He also has holidays when I take the kids away for a week once a year.

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