Ex has moved away

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  • #37118 Report


    Hi there,

    my ex left and moved two hours away from where we have always lived and expects me to meet him half way when he has the children. Am I legally obliged to do a two hour round trip when it was his choice to move so far away from where the children live or can I refuse?

    #37154 Report


    Hi HelenC

    Its difficult as my ex moved an hour away to be nearer his work and sport than his child but we have an agreement that when he currently has him on a Wednesday, I will bring my son to him as he doesn’t drive and I know that I can get him there at a sensible time like 6.30 instead of 9pm (my son is 3 and half). He also gives me petrol money for the Wednesday trips. then when he has him on a weekend, he finishes work early so that he can collect him from nursery on a Friday and then he brings him back on a Sunday.

    I think you just have to look to compromise abit and do what works best for you and hope that kinda helps abit.

    Lou x


    #37157 Report


    Hi, no, if he moved away, legally it is up to him to travel or to cover the costs of travel. However you probably want to encourage contact between him and your kids for their sake, so a bit of compromise might be a good idea.

    My Ex moved 85 miles away and I expect him to drive down and back. once a week. However, this is offset by the fact that I do all ten 7 mile school runs a week, plus all the play dates, sports days, parents evenings etc. He doesn’t do anything else.

    As Lou says, you need to find what works for you. But don’t be bullied, he can’t demand it of you.

    #37163 Report


    HelenC, sorry to hear that.  It’s really tough!

    The advice given to me from my solicitor was if it went to court meeting half way would be the outcome. Your ex has every right to live wherever he likes in the UK, as do you, so meeting half way is the fairest solution.

    However unfair this seems if you were not the one who moved! Two years ago my ex wife moved 300 miles away with my daughter (then 8).  To “have a new start” following a messy breakup with her ex boyfriend (she had several relationships after her and i amicably broke up). To see my daughter i now have a 6 hour round trip to pick her up, so now i only get to see her during school holidays.  It’s been a hard reality to come to terms with!

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