I am looking for advice. My ex has been having our daughter more during lockdown. I have been fine with this (except I miss her loads) and know its important for her to spend time with her dad. It’s been a awful break up and we don’t get on. I have said to him a few times that if he is working I’ll have our daughter as I am also not working at the moment due to covid 19. I have said I dont need his girlfriend to babysit. Today at my local shops he is buying his lunch in his work clothes with his van outside. Why should I have to give up time with our daughter so his girlfriend can have her? Am I being unreasonable? I fully know he has rights to spend time with her but he isnt so why should I be giving that time up?
Im really sorry to say this but while the kid is in his custody he is fully entitled to allow his friends or family (even girlfriends) to babysit your child. I know this because I asked my solicitor the same thing and she informed me that it wasnt up to me who they spent time with while they were in his custody and vice versa he cant dictate who they spend time with when the kids are with me. The only time you can intervene is obviously if someone spending time with the kids was a threat to them or a danger to them. Obviously you should seek your own legal advice to confirm this Im just going by what my solicitor told me. Sometimes parents do have formal agreements where if one is working during their time with the child then the other parent will be the first point of call to watch the child. But it has to be voluntarily agreed by both parents so if your ex doesnt agree you cant force him. I know its not a nice pill to swallow but unfortunately he can do this and you cant force him to change his mind on the matter. Besides if he ends up marrying this girlfriend she will become a bigger part of your daughters life than she currently is (again I know its not easy to accept this). You could try speaking to your ex and seeing if some sort of arrangement could be made but there’s no guarentees. Its tough and I know its not easy when you have to send your child off to their other parent, even harder when new girlfriends/boyfriends get involved. Sorry I couldnt be of more help.