Ex gas a new, not so new girlfriend

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    MJU2020
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    Hi all

    It’s quite a long post.  Sorry!!

    I would really appreciate some sound advice about coparenting issues.

    Me and my partner seperated just over 2half yrs ago after being together 7 year. We have a 9 yr oldchild. He has a 13yr old from previous relationship and I have a 12 yr old and a 14yr old.

    Since we seperated we have remained very close. And every now and again He would say things regarding a reunion. Even telling me he still loves me. We  Have family time , holidays, Xmas ect. I found this difficult because I still loved him and he knows I do.

    He has a female friend who was around and throughout our separation and as I dont want to feel uncomfortable I has asked him if they are together.  No! He said for over a yr

    This last 1hlf yrs he has been quite deceptful, sneaky and lying about her even though I came across a few things that said they were. He then said he was but it’s not anything.

    Yes! I’m not his partner but why lie to me. I would have left him to it. It has caused a lot of upset arguments and emotionsl outbursts Especially on my end. He lead me to believe over this time that we could have a chance . It’s not serious between them.

    End of July 2020. He tells me he wants to be  in a serious relationship and she will be staying over. Doesnt need to discuss this with the kids as they know her! I need to stop asking questions.

    Now I learn that she has been sleeping there for months and has told our 9 yr old and his 13yr old to keep it a secret. I dont know about my other 2 as they are away.  I did notice strange behaviour from our child for a while but dad brushed it off. I spoke to our son about it and told him it’s not right to keep secret from parents. I asked him a few things about it. When he next saw dad, dad aked him if I mentioned the situation and our son said yes. My ex went CRAZY. So angry that I had asked our son. He told me I’m not allowed to ask the kids nothing. It’s his life! What goes on in his life is none of my business.

    So…I need advice because I am soo upset and confused and shocked.  I dont know what to do about it

    Thanks

     

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