Ex delaying return of child

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  • #62729 Report


    OKAY, it is one of those nights I can’t get to sleep. Last time I posted here we were still “making up” with him, but that’s the past.

    I’d like to know that if we have a child arrangement order in place and he doesn’t return the child on time, then is he in breach of the court order then?


    It happened on 3 occasions in the past that he did not bring him home on time (there is a limit for how long he can have the child), but an hour later or changed pick up location for me in last minute so then I was late collecting him because of his games.


    Does that count as he is in breach of the order?

    I believe he is going to do it again, and again, and again… and I am unsure what to do when that happens, but if this happens consistently then will I be breach of the order too if I stop contact? Or because he’d be in breach first by not returning the child, would I still be in breach too for not allowing contact after that?


    I’m confused.


    Anyone has any similar experience? Does my writing clear enough to understand what I am trying to explain here?

    Many thanks in advance to anyone who gets my message and can give some useful advice.

    #62733 Report

    Andrew uk

    Is there a written order in force? Yes he could be in breach. Do you have a McKenzie Friend? What do they advise? You could take out a C79 form (breach of court order)

    #62734 Report

    Andrew uk

    He also can’t change the location if these are fixed.

    #62735 Report


    I’m not sure I understand the term “in force”. We have an order specifying he can see him for a certain ammount of time every 2 weeks. 

    Location isn’t fixed, we agreed between us that when he doesn’t want to bring him home then I go and get him from theirs. (Father lives with the Grandfather.)

    When the relationship breaks down, like now, he somehow has problem driving lil man back home and I usually go to get the child on a bike, taxi or public transport, unless he wants extra contact or to change dates, then he would offer to drive him home.

    (He then calls me irresponsible for bycikling around with a child in the back when he could drive him home… only if I did as he told.)

    It has always been this way and somehow my old solicitor forgotten to specify the return location so it’s been like this for over 2 years now, on and off.


    #62744 Report



    Firstly how you collect and transport the child is down to you, your time your choice simple, obviously if this isn’t safe he could comment so for instance if you drove a car with defective tyres etc ,

    the court may look at this from a disruptive element ( how they view things is entirely dependant on the legal triage they do )

    does it impact you as the receiving parent

    what is the level of disruption

    what is the impact on the children

    yesterday i had  30 mins delay from my ex – getting them a drink – not sure how long a costa drink in cannock but 30 mins seems excessive

    it has a knock on effect as traffic increases and it gets darker and more unsafe if winter conditions kick in on the way back

    I feel its a power thing from my ex ,my children are only late if they are being slow and disorganised by a max of 10 mins !

    my ex is not happy that the children live with me ( lots of reasons and her adult choices)

    I used to get upset and probably will be get upset when she does this again repeatedly but they use this for one reason to upset and control

    best ignore but keep a record and state the disruption on your child on you  and take action after this is become significant or constant

    just my view

    at the moment

    for me I just ignore as she wants me to react




    #62764 Report


    if he is 10 or 20 minutes late some times because there is bad traffic, then that is understandable. if it’s for some other reason then don’t think that’s right. am not sure if court is going to do much about it. maybe they will tell him off and tell him not to be late.

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