Ex deciding when he will pay maintenance???

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  • #14970 Report


    Dear All

    I am new on here and could do with some support and advice.

    My ex husband and I made an agreement when we separated (not a legal agreement) that he would pay a certain amount each month towards our son.

    Since my ex met his new wife a year ago he has turned very nasty towards me. I have always been accommodating and flexible when it comes to our son seeing his dad but for some reason my ex now feels it is necessary to be mean and cruel towards me.

    He has our son for 2 weeks and has taken him away. I noticed the weekly payment didn’t go in to my account this week. When I texted him, his reply was that as he has our son for the next 2 weeks he won’t be paying me. Can he do this?? I have a feeling the answer will be yes as we do not have a legal agreement.

    I am very tempted to go down the CMS route. I know that this will cut the amount he gives me by half but I am now at a point where I can’t take the bad attitude, constant legal threat and bullying behaviour.  I really thought that once remarried he would leave me alone but he has just become even worse.

    I would really appreciate any advice.

    Thank you


    #15230 Report


    Ring the child maintenance. I did to get some advice and they were so helpful, kind and understanding. Talked me through a few things and I felt really supported.

    I hope it works out for you.

    #15232 Report


    Can i ask why so many people cms is automatically less as I have been using them for over a year now when it was set up first time it came out at £73 more a month and have just had 1st review and has gone up by another £47.


    Do you know his exact earnings as if so have you used the cms calculator? I like you used it to stop the hassle every month as we originally set up our own agreement and out of 5 months he paid 2 without any fuss and then the other 3 were nothing but threats and blackmail so I had enough and now think it was the best decision I made saves all the control and arguments.

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