Ex coming in my house
23 April 2018 at 12:32 pm #10532
I don’t really know what to think. I left my ex 5 years ago. I set up home on my own with my children. He had nothing to do with my new house. I bought a dog. Again after I left.
However when I am not there he keeps turning up for a cup of tea with my 19 year old. Then he will take my dog out. I have asked him not to come in my house when I am not there but he is ignoring my requests. He comes in and wanders upstairs. Makes himself a cup of tea etc. Drinks my beer and watches my tv when I am not there. The kids know how I feel and so does he. I feel violated all the time yet he still does it. I left him becaus he was so controlling. He is still doing it.
I got some security cameras at the weekend. Sure enough I have it recorded that he has been in. Made himself some tea. Wandered upstairs. Took the dog a walk. Went in my fridge.
Is it me just thinking that this is not on? What are my rights. I have never stopped him seeing the girls ever. But I don’t want him wandering around my house when I am not there. Or even if I am there.23 April 2018 at 12:41 pm #10534
This is a violation of the Human Rights Act, Article 8. I would speak with a solicitor and ask them to send him a letter. It will cost you £50 or whatever, but should stop him. He could also be arrested for trespass (though you might be asked questions why you gave him a key in the first place).
Make sure you can say you’ve had the conversation with him and he ignores your wishes – you have to have told him first before escalating.23 April 2018 at 1:12 pm #10538
He hasn’t got a key. My daughter lets him in. I have sent him messages asking him not to come in my house when I am not there with a response from him (as proof that I have asked him not to enter). As my daughter lets him in …..does that affect my rights.23 April 2018 at 1:20 pm #10539
No, Article 8 means he should ask your permission first. Same as if he was your landlord – he’d still have to ask permission and not just wander in, even though he owns the property. Have you spoken with your daughter about it?23 April 2018 at 1:46 pm #10540
Yes. I have told her that I am not comfortable with it and also shown her the messages that I have sent him.23 April 2018 at 1:53 pm #10541
Well, as I say, might be worth £50 for a letter from a solicitor.
Some links that may help:
Support with any parenting problem: Family Lives 9am-9pm weekdays, 10am-3pm weekends FREE helpline 0808 800 2222 http://familylives.org.uk
Publicly funded legal advice and/or representation: http://www.justice.gov.uk/legal-aid-for-private-family-matters23 April 2018 at 1:54 pm #10542
Thank you.23 April 2018 at 8:51 pm #10599
It has got to the point that I don’t want to wake up tomorrow.23 April 2018 at 9:21 pm #10600
Wake up, do, but take the day off work and hide in the kitchen, then, when he goes to help himself to a beer, you can give him a heart attack. Problem solved.23 April 2018 at 9:28 pm #10603
<span style=”color: #1a1919; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; background-color: #fbfbfb;”>itcinadcerrbtly? Can you just clarify, please?</span>24 April 2018 at 5:55 am #10606
Well it is another day. Part of me feels I just have to accept how it is. But I am pretty down.24 April 2018 at 7:25 am #10607
You don’t have to accept it at all, for the reasons stated – did you even try the links or suggestions?24 April 2018 at 8:42 am #10608
Hiya, I agree with Empty. You don’t have to put up with this. You haven’t invited him into your house. if he wants to see the kids can he see them away from your property?
You’re entitled to live peacefully and without worry.