i just wanted some views if anyone has time. I have a young daughter and split my wife a few months ago. We have agreed 50/50 split of her care, but she threatens to withdraw her “permission” for me to to see her (although she hasn’t done that) or refuses to speak to me (saying only contact me in an emergency) whenever things (usually finances) don’t go her way. Sometimes they don’t go my way, but we shouldn’t confuse the two very separate things. I suggested we go to mediation just to thrash out the finer details of things. I’ve already agreed to split the days on the same pattern she has with her (15 year old) child from her first marriage, although I think the pattern is a bit confusing really. Last week, during a debate with solicitors about money – she cancelled the mediation. My solicitor ya now said we should go to court and we have MIAM just so we can formalise the 50/50 split of care and also so we can pin down things like holidays, birthdays, etc. I think I am going to have to do this just so we can have things agreed and certain for our daughter. However, I think it’s a really harsh step and I’m worried the court might reduce the time I see my girl or something. I don’t know what to do for the best.
Thank you for replying. Yes. 50/50 exactly. She already has a 15 year old from a previous marriage which she shares in the same way, and I’ve agreed to share in the same pattern, although it’s not ideal. No child benefit and we are in very early months of separation so no maintenance agreed (we have very similar income). Your reply does make me feel better – I don’t want to punish her, I just want certainty over arrangements and not have a situation where she refuses to talk to me when she feels like and then contacts me when she does. There are times when, sharing care, we just need to talk about day to day things.
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