Ex blowing hot/cold

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  • #57067 Report

    Andy0923
    Participant

    So I’ll try and keep it as short as possible, me and my ex split up in November but we’ve been back and forward with eachother.

    Until a couple of months ago we made a break and it was working really, we have a daughter so have to have contact still, we get on great. But last week we a drink and I ended up staying in her bed, we didn’t kiss or have sex but did cuddle all night. Then Saturday I helped build a summer house for our daughter at my ex’s which was a fantastic day. When I went to leave she followed my to my van and ask for a cuddle, I went back in and we spoke about taking things slow, but I feel she has now retreated again. She does have the tendency to back off when we get slightly close again. I just don’t know what to think about the situation. Any advice?

    #57070 Report

    pdm
    Participant

    Hi Andy0923,

    My wife who left us in June is doing just that, giving me mixed messages, even my 13yr old daughter said that! I don’t want to go into it but my wife has suffered with her mental health over the years, maybe this is a medical condition your ex partner may have?

    we’re still married (26yrs) but looks likely coming to an end. she lost her mum the year we got married, I lost my dad in 2017 and from then things got worse for us, I’ve had therapy and that’s helped me so so much. I’m not much of a book worm, but I was told to read The Chimp Paradox, by Professor Steve Peters, it has changed my life and maybe one reason my wife has left me (I worked out that I was trying to keep everyone around me happy, apart from me!!) this book has literally changed my life, for the better.

    Take care

     

     

    #57081 Report

    Bobbydee
    Participant

    I think she’s not sure about the split. My ex was 100% definite let’s do it no relapses. Is it fixable? if that’s what you want to do? The kids are a tie but that can be just friendship with the ex.. Your situation sounds different.

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