Ex asking for school extra expenses of laptop,school lunch etc though paying CMS

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  • #59011 Report

    caringfather
    Participant

    Hi All,

    I currently have 143 days overnight care in a year for my child. i.e 40% access. I pay child maintenance regularly as per CMS calculation. Now my ex-wife is asking for me to pay additional school expenses like school lunch for the days when I drop my daughter at school in the morning. She is also demanding more school expenses like school laptop expenses, school trips, etc.

    Can someone please help that should I be legally paying all these below expenses as mentioned below or it is covered in CMS monthly maintenance?

    1. Schoool lunches: for the 143 days my daughter lives with me?

    2. School laptop expenses

    3. School trips

    Thanks in advance for your help.

    #59025 Report

    Hi sorry to hear about what you have going on.

    If you look on the government website about cms it says its for things like school uniform etc.

    So she isn’t in any position to question or ask for more as cms is meant to cover all that.

    I hope this helps. Gov states ‘<span style=”background-color: #303134; color: #bdc1c6; font-family: Roboto, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: break-spaces;”> pays a proportion of their income to the parent with day to day care. pays for things like housing, school uniform, trips or after school clubs.”</span>

    #59073 Report

    plogermans
    Participant

    Hi,

    You don’t have to pay anything more than the cms assessment legally. It’s a difficult situation as you don’t want your daughter to go without or miss school trips. Could you pay half each for things like laptops and trips ? Maybe give your daughter money for her lunch on the days you drop her off, if you’re able.

    #59074 Report

    caringfather
    Participant

    Thanks for the responses. I am paying a considerable big amount of CMS per month which she may not be even spending 1/3rd of it every month on my daughter and I know for the fact that my daughter’s expenses are not that much at her age. In that case her mum can even afford to pay for school lunches with that 1/3rd amount (out of what I pay monthly) on the days when I drop my daughter to school. If she is getting that big amount of money on a monthly basis and she would not even use 2/3rd of that and save for herself (mum). After I have mentioned this, would you still suggest me to pay for her school lunches on the day I drop her to school?

     

    #59083 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    Hi,

    As your paying through CMS, then you don’t have to pay anything above the amount they set. You can pay extra if you want.

    #59084 Report

    plogermans
    Participant

    Hi,

    No, her mum should pay but i was thinking if mum isn’t then your daughter would not get a lunch on the days you take her. Not sure what system schools operate these days but for my son i used to send a cheque on Mondays for the weeks lunch and my daughter had a lunch account that could be topped up by cheque or cash and she had a card like a debit card to pay with each day. Her mum should be doing this as she gets the CMS money but what can you do if she doesn’t or does and asks for you to pay for it ? Nothing really other than complain to the court welfare service if you arranged residence/visiting via a court but it would probably fall on deaf ears as they are, and always have been, biased towards mothers. Complain to the CMS that she’s not spending the money on your daughter and is asking for more ? Again it will fall on deaf ears. Or just refuse to pay anything extra at all and hope mum provides it all from the CMS allowance. Best of luck with whichever you choose to do.

     

     

    #59097 Report

    caringfather
    Participant

    Thank you for the responses. I am trying to understand legally that am I liable to pay for my daughter’s school lunches for the days (143 days in a year) she stays with me? She is arguing that the CMS amount is not for those 143 days when my daughter lives with me, so I have to bear the lunch expenses for my daughter for those days and not her.

    I obviously want to ensure my child gets the best, but the point here is that she has gone completely unethical and now she is getting greedy.

    Should I take legal advice on this? I want to ensure I am doing everything legally right and not violating any law.

    #59107 Report

    plogermans
    Participant

    She has a point, maybe it’s not for the 143 days when your daughters with you. I believe i got a reduction from the original assessment for when my daughter was with me but it’s 9 years ago now so my memory has faded. Try asking the CMS before spending on legal advice. 0800 171 2345 or write to Child Maintenance Service 21, Mail Handling Site A, Wolverhampton, WV98 2BU. If you don’t get a reply write to Therese Coffey, Secretary of State at The Houses of Parliament, 1, Parliament Square, London, SW1A 0AA. and she’ll forward it to a senior member of the CMS for a reply. Good luck again.

    #59109 Report

    GingerbreadHelen
    Keymaster

    Hi there Caringfather,

    I’m one of the moderators here on the forum. You may find it useful to contact the Child Law advice service for advice on this. This is a free service. Here’s their website which shows their helpline number https://childlawadvice.org.uk.

    best wishes, Helen

    #59113 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    with CMS, they base assessments on overnight stay shared care. you could give them a call if your not sure. whatever amount CMS have asked you to pay your ex, you can pay that to be compliant with them. if you want to pay anything over and above that, that’s optional and up to you. i think you should consider that if you start making lot of optional payments, you may be short of money, while child is in your care.

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