Established kid in school new significant other issues

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  • #48975 Report

    Treybird_3
    Participant

    Hey all I’m new here and have hit a wall in my current relationship and unsure what to do with kids involved. I have a 8 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. I’ve been seeing someone who has a 3 yr old daughter we live about an hour apart. We’ve been seeing one another for a little over a year and have been discussing a future and have come to a cross roads we can’t get past so I’m seeking any advice. My son experienced mine and his mother’s divorce at age 5. His grandmother, his best friend died the same year. He has not faired well since. He likes the significant other. His mom lives in the district he’s in school at but wanting to move which would put him with yet another change I currently live a few miles away but out of the district. I want to move to that district so I can be there so he won’t have to change schools. I don’t want any more change for him. Also he doesn’t wanna move schools. This presents the problem. The new significant other doesn’t like the idea of being away from her home town. She doesn’t want to move. The school is free here and the school her child would ultimately have to attend would be private where she is. To me I see it as there would be no change for her kid to make other than moving somewhere new but she’s not in school or daycare she has a personal sitter. So there would be some change but that change is coming requardless she can’t stay home with a babysitter when she’s school age. Me not budging on where I can live due to district regulations Makes the significant other think that I don’t care about her or her child’s opinion. Her child just turned 3 don’t remember the divorce she just turned 1 at that time. Won’t be changing schools. Her life won’t be disturbed much by moving. I’ve ensured we can still visit her hometown as much as they’d like. Nothing seems to suffice. She made an offer to come here and rent with me to see how she likes it but if they don’t then they are going back and by going back that meant ending our relationship as well. That leaves me feeling devalued and like we don’t matter. Like I’m not a walk away kinda guy I’m a do what it takes to make it work out but I’m stuck. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I care a lot for this girl and her kid I’m pushing 40 and I don’t care to waste anyone’s time. Thank you.

    #48989 Report

    warwickshire1
    Blocked

    How often do you see your kids at moment? If you really like your new partner i would stay with her as you could still see your own kids surely as normal.

    Wouldnt you still see your own children half of holidays and every other weekend still potentially. Or take her up on offer of moving to your area to see if she likes it and if she doesnt you then move back to her area which would see that your relationship wouldnt end

     

    #48992 Report

    Treybird_3
    Participant

    I have 50/50 custody of my kids sorta…. per papers… but basically I have them every day I don’t work I work 3 days a week so I typically end up with them more

    #48993 Report

    Treybird_3
    Participant

    Also if I chose to be where she is and the ex moves then my kid would have to change schools that’s where I’m struggling

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