End of 14 year relationship….

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  • #54822 Report




    We broke up a year ago but decided to continue living together to co-parent and especially financially it made sense however he has decided to move out now to his parents as we haven’t been getting along. The relationship ended because on my behalf the feelings weren’t there anymore.


    The truth is though, is that I am scared of being alone because I battle daily with health issues which leaves me anxious and depressed. I never go out alone due to my symptoms (dizziness being one) and the reality that I won’t have him around to have as a support scares me especially having to do so much around the house and for the kids when usually he would contribute.

    I don’t see a way out as I get Universal credit and low rate PIP and I know now that I will be forced to attend the Jobcentre interviews etc.. and its making me panic about getting there and going alone when I don’t even do the school run now due to feeling so awful daily. I am scared about feeling terrible and having these funny turns and being alone with my children all of the time, I am scared about financially will I cope, I am stressing about the fact I can’t give my kids lots of fun because I barely go out and stopped driving because of my symptoms.

    Its my fault for becomming so dependant on him but this is what health issues, lack of self esteem and anxiety can do to you.  I am scared of being alone at night and having to say goodbye to my kids when they leave to stay with him over night. I know they will be happier and have more fun than being with me as I offer very little other than cooking, cleaning etc…

    I don’t have many people as a support as everyone has their own life and I hate to be a burden. I see my dad once or twice a week and the kids nan does the school run for me. I have my youngest home with me as not school age yet.

    I feel so lonely, sad, scared, worried for the future and don’t know how to cope.

    #54832 Report


    The only way you will manage anything is to sort out all this anxiety and worry.Your best bet would be to see some kind of therapist somewhere,which sounds a bit vague but perhaps Michelle the Moderator on here could advise you if you asked.

    Another thing is to get to the root of what you call your ‘funny turns’.Have you seen your doctor to determine if it’s a physical thing or psychological? Once you’ve ruled out physical issues, or dealt with them then a lot of this anxiety will be helped and you can get on with the business of living.

    Also if you have health issues that are stopping you from working you will not be ‘forced’ to attend Jobcentre interviews.I

    So one thing at a time.

    #54841 Report


    Thank you for the reply. Yes I have a balance disorder basically my balance organs don’t work and I have hearing loss too. I’ve woke today and feel dreadful with worrying over everything. I look fine on the outside but I don’t feel it. Feel on the verge of tears. Feel at a point in my life where I don’t know what to do or who to turn to. I need to feel okay for my children.

    #54855 Report


    Yes,you do need to feel ok.So I think when things get overwhelming  the only way to manage is to break it down into manageable bits..Can your doctor advise you,you haven’t mentioned anything about that for your condition.I know very well it’s easy to fall into despair and a pattern of obsessive worrying which can drive a person over the edge-but that is not useful to you.

    DOING something to help yourself will make you feel better.It might be helpful to write a list of a few things you can do to start changing the situation,bc nobody is completely helpless.

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