End it or not?

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  • #57235 Report

    Ashton
    Participant

    I know deep down my marriage is over. I suffer with awful mental ill health and after years of going my husband would ‘get it’ and genuinely help me, I know that he’s never going to change. The way we live is ridiculous, I can’t have him in the house, any days out or holidays with the kids are miserable endurance tests. Even today, I’m hiding from the kids crying, feeling rock bottom. I phone him at work and he just assumes I’m angry or disappointed in him for something. I’m desperately unhappy with crippling depression. I’ve told him this countless times but he still just assumes it’s all down to me being in a bad mood with him. It’s starting to affect the kids now, which I don’t want. I know that really, we shouldn’t be together but taking that leap to separate just makes me feel sick. I have no steady income of my own, we can’t afford two houses, the thought of him having a new partner, having the kids without me etc is impossible for me to bare. Where on earth do I start? We can’t go on like this.

    #57239 Report

    Lola
    Moderator

    Hi Ashton.  I’m a moderator at Gingerbread. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Firstly, I’d like to signpost you to organisations that might be able to support you with emotional and mental health issues.  The Samaritans number is 116 123. There is also Shout which you can text on 85258 to get immediate 24/7 mental health support. Also you could speak to your GP to see if they can offer help or refer you for help. I can also provide links below  to Gingerbread’s information about getting emotional support from our website, and NHS information. If you want information about financial issues such as benefits, or child maintenance, you can ring our single parent helpline on 0808 802 0925.

    https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/information/you-and-your-childs-wellbeing/mental-health/

    https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/urgent-support/

    Take care.

    #57249 Report

    Flossy_teacake
    Participant

    Do you want to feel this rotten for the next how many years? Ending it will be hard but you deserve happiness and someone who understands you. A marriage is meant to be team work and this doesn’t sound like team work. Believe me it might seem like the worst time in your life and you’ll worry about how you’re going to cope but you hit a point, look back and wonder why you waited so long.
    big hugs

    #57260 Report

    Ashton
    Participant

    Thanks so much for your reply.

    #57345 Report

    Ichoosecalm
    Participant

    Hi, I’m in a similar situation and wanted to see how you are doing?

    I’m about to tell my partner of 12 years that it is over as I can’t handle his negatively anymore. I have mental health issues and an autoimmune disease and he acts like he doesn’t care. I know life will be tough but In dreaming of the other side once through this bit where I can live peacefully.

    I unlike you don’t mind if my partner moves on to someone else. This is probably due to him having an affair two years ago so I have already been through that hurt and now just want us both to be happy and enjoy the rest of our lives instead of this negative passive aggressive role play where neither of us are happy.

    I’m sending you luck on this and I hope you find strength to start the right process for you.

    Take care, K

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)

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