Emotionally abusive ex

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  • #48527 Report


    Hi guys, I’ve just joined and looking for some advice 😩

    me and my ex split up last March when he found out I was pregnant. Since then he started a new relationship and hadn’t got in touch to see how either of us were until my daughter was 6 weeks old (she’s now 14 weeks)

    he’s sent emails basically saying he does not want to discuss the past as it’s not relevant and that he has rights and wants to meet his daughter.

    I sent an email back saying we need to meet up and clear the air before we can move forward to co parent. Since then he’s sent emails saying I’m using our daughter as a weapon and he has every right to see her (I’ve not said he can’t) and taken to fb slandering me and using pics of our daughter 😓 I’ve now had a solicitors letter through stating that he’s tried to sort things amicably with me without success, he’s desperate to meet his daughter and initially it can be with me to elevate any concerns and then wants her one night a week and every other Sunday (the days that he doesn’t have his hobbies). He’s making me feel dreadful, I just want to do what’s right for my daughter and I’m being made to feel like I’m in the wrong? Please someone tell me I’m not going mad? 😓sorry for the long post! Haha xx

    #48530 Report


    I’m so sorry you’re being made to feel like that! Your baby is still so young and your ex showed no interest until a few weeks ago so please don’t feel that you have to be pushed around. You’ve offered an option and you have email evidence of that. Stick to your guns and offer what you are comfortable with.
    You shouldn’t be made to consider overnights and visits away from you yet as baby is far too young so try not to worry and just keep offering for him to visit at your home, just half an hour to start and build up from there.

    #48531 Report



    I think it’s way too early for overnights. you can say he can see child for  1 or 2 hours to start with, then gradually build that up by few more hours. You should probably consider overnights when child turns 2.

    #48532 Report


    Thanks so much for your reply!. My other concern is that I really don’t know him, we were only together 6 months and the last few weeks of the relationship he really wasn’t a stable person and kept saying he had thoughts of suicide 😓 he’s also not got much patience either with his 12 yr old daughter. There’s a lot of things I’m not happy about but prepared to work on and yes I think he definitely needs to do the visits at our home as that’s her familiar surroundings but I just know he’s not going to like that! 😓 xxxx

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