Due to be a single dad in the summer

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  • #21744 Report

    MedwayDad90
    Participant

    Hi all,

    A bit of background on my situation..In December, me and my ex found out she was pregnant, we were both over the moon and unbelievably happy, neither of us have kids, so this will be our first for both of us.   Then, after Christmas she started to be a lot more distant from me, didn’t want to see me and then at the end of January, she ended it, saying that her feelings where no longer there and she had to concentrate on the baby.  A month has passed now, and she seemed to have moved on very quickly, even speaking and meeting up with someone new,.

    This has hit me really hard, knowing that despite trying to be the best person I can be I will now not be able to be there like a ‘normal’ dad for our baby, with the likelihood of seeing it every other weekend and once in the week.

    Has anyone been in a similar situation and if so, how did you handle it?  I feel lost at the moment, and ashamed that I don’t feel excited for the birth.  I want to, however every time I think about it, it hurts so much, and I try my best to shut it out of my mind for now.

    Thanks in advance for reading!

    #21753 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Hi Medway,

    Being a parent is seldom as expected, for your ex too. If she wants to carry on working, she will need help, with pick ups and drop offs, with back up for when schedules don’t work. And if she’s expecting to carry on with a social life, even more so.

    It’s important to keep it amicable, be willing to work as a team and to be flexible. In the beginning you should see your child every day or two, for you to form a bond and for her to get a break/shower/nap. Take it day by day and you can make it work.

    #21778 Report

    Giveitago
    Participant

    Hello Medway,

    Sorry to hear your situation and I hope it becomes much more positive and Kathymumofone makes some excellent points. Try not to distance your self to far from the facts and keep involved (amicably as possible) in as many areas as possible, things might change…they often do. Take the time between now and then to positively organise your mind to be able to deal with the coming time and maybe think of talking it through with someone who you trust and try your best not to detach from the situation. Stay strong and focused on the rights things, one day at a time.

    #21800 Report

    MedwayDad90
    Participant

    Thank you both!.

    I just feel like I’m missing out on what should be the exciting things about becoming a new dad, and that’s what’s hurting me, also a big fear of not being able to bond as much, fear of being pushed away slightly as I can’t be as hands on as I would like.

    Thank you for your comments though, il take them on board :).

    #21888 Report

    Krowe882002
    Participant

    A little about my situation ive got my ex pregnant, and now she has become distant, she is bipolar and not taking her medication and didn’t alow me to go to the first scan which really hurt. Ive always said i want to be amicable but it appears she doesn’t and just says shes doing the best for the baby but this cant be the case if it doesn’t involve me. I feel im gonna have to fight for everything now, and i dont expect shell let me know when its born either which is really gonna hurt. I was just wondering how soon id be able to see my baby? Ive had a discussion with meditation but it seems i need to go to court to get a court order if she still refuses me access? Is there any way of seeing my baby before any court action cause obviously this will take time and will loose bonding time.

    #22034 Report

    MedwayDad90
    Participant

    Hi,

    Sorry for the late reply.  To be honest, im not 100% sure on the answers to your questions, im still trying to find out all the info around this in regard to my situation.  Im hoping, as you are for it to be amicable and currently she is, but I completely understand the feeling of being hurt and not in control. I hope your situation improves and if I find out any more information I will share with you asap.

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