Drugs/Drink and contact rights

[Fate12]

Hi, newly seperated from my drug addict ex. Seperated because of the drugs – long kept secret and once I knew he was gone.

since the split over 4 weeks ago, he was erratic as to be expected and only called every few days about our child. It has escalated in the he was supposed to have her, he didnt show and it resulted in me reporting him missing. He showed up fine. I issued him an ultimatum to get help or not have contact with his daughter. 16 days later he finally makes contact with me asking to see her as if he’s forgotten the condition. Again I said yes, only when he is in treatment.

 

With regards to access, has anyone else been in this situation to know the rights I have to protect my child? I have started the mediation process but it’s like I’m forcing him to be a parent and get help.

 

help!

[Fate12]

Hi, no I don’t think so. I think he’d take her out somewhere but bring her home. I don’t think he’d take her forever, he has nowhere to go and no money to do it with.

I’m just more worried that her life will become what mine was…sitting waiting for him and being let down or getting the hungover/coming down person who can’t wait for the timr to be over so they can go to sleep.

I don’t want to block access, he has every right as you say but I want to protect her and get a sensible, safe, supervised contact arrangement in place. I also want him to get treatment as she deserves a healthy Dad.

mediation only have my contact details so I’ll see what they say.

thanks for responding. Feeling very lost and frustrated by his behaviour when the only person suffering is our daughter.

[Empty]

Always be kind. Your child has his eyes or at least 50% his DNA. You must protect your child, but you won’t heal him (if that’s what you want) by force. Like having a children, you have to work together.

[Fate12]

Totally agree, I’m trying to remain calm and be a parent, regardless of our situation, he will always be her Father.

I guess I’m still struggling with knowing he loves something else more than us and we aren’t worth him seeking help for.

Feel very sad for the 16 years we’ve lost and my poor daughter.

Thanks for your responses, I’ll see what mediation advise.

[Fate12]

She is 5.

[Faith]

Hi Cate, I’m in a very similar situation and will message you directly.

[Author]

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