Dont Know Where To Turn
1 September 2021 at 8:19 pm #58530
Where do i begin?
I have been divorced from my ex wife for13/14 years, we have a daughter together whos nearly 16, when we first broke up we had a lengthy court battle over access which cost me some £5K to get, she never followed it from day one, she decided a week after the court order that her own legal team were not working in her best interests and claimed that she had been conned in to agreeing with something that she didnt want to, anyway id had reasonable access except for when she wanted to be akward for the sake of it and accuse me and my current partner of child abuse, which was investigated by police/social services and found to be untrue,
Fast forward to March 2020 and the outbreak of Covid-19, she decided that despite all of the government advice that it was still ok for children of separated parents to see their kids, she convinced my daughter that it was too risky and stopped me seeing her, that went on for nearly 7 months until my daughter told her mum she wanted to see me,
my daughter used to come over once id finished work and stay from friday at 4pm until sunday at 4pm when she would go back to her mothers,
so her mother decided i could have one hour every other weekend in a public park as long as we stayed 2 meters apart, and this went on until borris locked us down again around october/november time in 2020, then we went back to no contact at all right through Christmas 20/21 we were finally aolloud to see each other in march 2021 when restrictions started to be lifted,and we went back to one hour here or there every other weekend, in a public park 2 meters away from each other, that was until her mother decided they needed to self isolate here or there (btw she works in a NHS hospital)
we had plans (my side of the family) for a little break nowhere special just a week away along the southern coast last weekend in july back in the beginning of August, and i was so excited and desperate to be able to spend longer than an hour with my daughter, her mother had initially agreed, but argument after argument pursued in the weeks leading up to it and a lot was thrown in to doubt, My daughter did eventually decide to come and we spent 7 great days together day and night before coming home, we had also agreed with her mum that we could do 2 days a legoland winsor at the last weekend in august, between the arival home from the week and the day to go to legolego there was zero contact, i had expected there to be no contact, there was another huge bust up over legoland and having suffered some 18 months of abuse and little contact my mental health broke, i had a partial breakdown, my daughter did come to legoland and we had a great time, but on the way back my daughter was informed by her mother that she has made the decision that she believes it is in the best intrests of our daughter to cut all contact, which thus far has been the case,
My daughter has expressed wishes to have contact but she wont stand up to her mother, he is worried that her mother will kick her out, she is worried she will not get to see her other siblings at her mothers house and that she wont be allowed to see the family pet which she is incredibly fond of (she is on the autistic spectrum as well)
I am at a total loss, i simply cant afford to get in to another lengthy legal battle with my ex wife, i dont have the money, she is very unlikley to even show up, let known attempt to even remotely attempt to meet somewhere in the middle.
I had been advised by my mental health advisor and councillor that the mediators and if it was to get that far even the courts would take upon the wishes of my daughter given her age, but i cant see my ex wife allowing any of these people near her and even if she did i believe my daughter has been mildly warped in to agreeing with her mum for the reasons above and an easier, quiet life.
What is everyone’s thought advice and stories along this topic?
thank you all.