Don’t know what to do

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  • #29656 Report

    OliviaJ1989
    Participant

    I’m 37 weeks pregnant and will be a single mum. The father of the baby left at the beginning for another woman and has blocked me ever since, telling me he wants nothing to do with me or the baby since I wouldn’t get a termination. His new girlfriend is his priority and he needs to make her secure and happy.

    He owes me a lot of money and my financial situation isn’t good right now (mainly due to him). I’m privately renting, which is expensive on my own and don’t have the option to move back home. The council have put me on the housing list and said I next to expect to wait two years to get a house through them. I can’t afford a mortgage on my own…

    I want the best for my baby and just think can I actually do this with so many obstacles? Am I being selfish bringing a baby into this world with such a crappy situation? Should I consider adoption?

    Or do I just need to get positive and ride this rough time? TIA x

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by OliviaJ1989.
    #29658 Report

    Mariatu84
    Participant

    I know it’s a horrible situation to be in as I’m  in the same boat pregnant and single wise. Life is full of many obstacles please try to stay positive things always work out in the end good luck to you.

    #29665 Report

    Pumpkin62
    Participant

    Hi OliviaJ1989, sorry to hear about your situation. I imagine it’s pretty scary and daunting.

    No one can make this decision for you, this is one for you to work out. Try to put the scariness to one side and think, do you want to have your baby and bring him/her up irrespective of the challenges you may face OR do you want to have your baby and give him/her up for adoption, meaning you would not be par o their life. Having the baby alone will be tough but if it’s what you want, you’ll make it work.

    If I turned the clock back and was told I’d become a single mum of a 6 and 2.5 year old, I would have laughed and said no way. But here I am, we’re taking it one day at a time and the fact we are all fed/clothed/get where we need to be each day (work, school, nursery) is a celebration. We have good days and bad days, and yes it’s tough – we’re 6 months down the line now. I love my kids more than anything in the world and wouldn’t turn back time and change any of the decisions I made. But please don’t be swayed by my life choices, I’m not trying to tell you what’s best for you.

    Good luck with everything and be brave 🙂 Happy to chat anytime.

    #29735 Report

    G.S.7145.P
    Participant

    Hi Olivia, I was in your position last year, pregnant and single. I have never been so scared in my whole entire life wondering how would I cope and finances. I even tried to ignore the fact I was pregnant – even when I was taken in for c section I had convinced myself it was for a different op. But now I have my little girl and love it.

    But Pumpkin has made a good point, it is a case of one day at a time.

    I got alot of things second hand to help with the cost, from charity shops, I don’t know if they have them where you live but there are jumble sale type things where mums sell on their baby stuff cheap.

    But as Pumpkin said no one can help you make that decision, just know you can get support from people whatever you decide.

    Hear to talk if you want to. Xx

    #29739 Report

    Sandra
    Moderator

    Thank you for your post on our forum. You may find it useful to call our free helpline and speak to an adviser about your situation on 0808 802 0925   https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/what-we-do/contact-us/helpline/

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Sandra.
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