Domestic violence separation and court proceedings

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  • #35013 Report


    Hi, it is my first time on here and I am not sure what to expect but I’m not at all myself and was told this could help.

    I have recently fled from spain back to the uk due to 10 years of low domestic violence ( I think I got out before it got heavy) i have 2 daughters 5 and 2 and i sorted court proceedings due to his threats.

    I have a non molestation order on him and going for prohibited steps order for the girls hes a heavy drug use cocaine mostly and a drunk. He would be aggressive and violent infront of the girls often also.

    I am currently making a statement for my fact finding case ocoming up and I’ve google how the case is done and I am absolutely petrified.

    How can I be questioned by my abuser and he seems so chilled and cocky in court making me out to be a liar. It has taken me a lot to even mention the facts let alone confront my abuse which I’m dreading so much.


    I know I have to do it for my girls but I cant help thinking that I’m going to go through all of this and hes still going to be allowed access when he just cares about ruining my life.

    He stated that he would make sure that I cant move on and that the girls wont meet anyone else obviously the last thing on my mind but he still trying to control everything.

    I’m scared the court believe him and are trying their best to help him whilst putting me through alot of stress and I just feel so vulnerable.


    Idont even know if any of this makes sense to anyone but I’m hoping anyone that has been through something similar can give me their take or advise I just feel like I’m drowning.

    #35019 Report


    Thanks for posting here, it sounds like you’re having a difficult time at the moment. If you haven’t had any legal advice about your case you can contact Rights of Women, a charity which offers free legal advice:

    Women’s Aid can also provide support for you throughout this process:





    #35061 Report


    Thank you very much, I will contact them and get some advice.

    Amazing points and thank you for taking the time to reply.

    #35598 Report


    I had to face my ex is court to get an occupation order.  My barrister requested a screen for me, so i didn’t have to see my ex.  I wasn’t questioned by him, but his solicitor. She did try to weaken me by saying the abuse i had reported wasn’t true and that i was a liar.  It really was such a horrible experience, but certainly not as bad as living with the abuse!

    All you can do is tell the truth and they will see through him.  My ex showed his true colours that day in court; he couldn’t contain his temper and so showed the judge exactly what i had been putting up with.

    Good luck, and well done for standing up to the bully!

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