Domestic abuse

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  • #53035 Report


    Hi guys

    need to pick your brains on this one as it has me a bit confused on what to do.

    My ex partner has been physically abusive a few times with me recently, twice last Sunday when he realised I had met someone else, (even though he has been dating someone since February) an again this Saturday when he arrived early and caught me getting dressed and pinned me to sofa and tried to grope me.

    My partner is obviously really annoyed at his actions and wants it reported to police, I spoke to police today and the only way I can get it on record is to have him arrested and the incidents investigated.

    I’m gonna sound a bit soft on this but I don’t want to go down that road of getting him arrested as he leaves me alone 90%of the time and im happy about that, I fear if I involve police he could lose his job and girlfriend and cause me even more grief than I can handle. he was an abusive narcissistic partner who gaslighted me for many years and I never realised.

    my life is so much better he has gone and I am looking forward to even better things. I spoke to him about his actions and told him people know about it and will talk to police if needed in the future, he seemed to be very scared of these words and has since backed away quite a lot.

    I’m asking if talking to womens aid is enough do you think as I feel pressured in to talking to police and I really don’t want to!


    sorry if its a bis confusing im just really unsure at the moment!

    thanks in advance x

    #53045 Report


    Hi @loulabear

    I’m so sorry to hear that not only have you been in an abusive relationship before but now the ex–partner continues this behaviour.

    He is totally out of order and his assaults are unacceptable.

    It’s none of his business how you live your life and he has no right to interfere and you don’t have t explain yourself to him.

    The only thing I can think of is a non-molestation order.

    He won’t be arrested but he won’t be allowed to go near you.

    Can you contact the police again and ask them about it?

    All the best,




    #53061 Report


    Hi lovely woman, you’re so torn I understand, i think you could say that if he does it again he gives you no choice but to go through with the full police action of reporting it. I don’t condon his bullish abusive at all and I can say all’s I want  about reporting it now but it has to happen on your terms. This may sound very odd to others but it’s so complex  for people and I wish it was so cut and dried that couples apart or together launch into action when required.  If you are happy with your new partner then also stop feeling sorry for your ex and say he needs to face repercussions for hurting you both mentally and physically in a way you sound scared of what will happen next,  but remember he has crossed the line again and it us his actions that will bring action against him , hard to do I get it, I’ve been where you are , much love  to you x


    #53075 Report

    Hi Loulabear

    I’ve left a message for you in your account.

    Kind regards


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