Does it ever end

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  • #51875 Report

    oneparent
    Participant

    I feel like my life is groundhog day, with not be able go to work, not able to normal stuff. The children mother left march last year. Since then she has turned into person I wouldn’t trust a hamster with.  Relationship finished fair enough, she spinning lies and throwing out wild accusations. Only letting me see the children every other weekend which suit her needs not the children as they always ask to stay. (Roll on section 7 report findings).  The children contact landed on mothers day she didn’t want to re arrange contact so she could spend mother days, now I’ve got the children on her birthday. I have brought up on both occasions so she can both days with children yet she refuses reply. Which gets me thinking.  Shell most probably turn around and say I refufed to let her see them.  Its vicious circle which never ends

     

    #51879 Report

    Jaekae
    Participant

    It sounds to me that you could do with some legal advice.  Nothing heavy handed but someone to help you understand where you stand and what rights you have.

    It can’t be easy for you and it sounds like you are trying to be more than reasonable and considerate. Do you have a mutual friend who could help you have the conversations needed, or pass on your messages so you know she is acknowledging them?

    Id be interested in other peoples thoughts but I’d be tempted for now to bite my tongue and be super reasonable and calm about her behaviour to her. Be the bigger person, as winding you up may be part of her intention. The kids will also see that you are the stable grown up in their lives. This they will be forever grateful for and although it feels this will never end, when they are older, you will be the one they will be turning to and wanting to be with.

    #51893 Report

    oneparent
    Participant

    I have legal help even then she don’t reply to them. I’ve asked for additional time as the children are asking, it’s also state in interim court order. Yet she refuses. It’s my eldest birthday I cant even call. Its terrible vicious circle and lets be honest it’s only the children getting effected.

     

    #51930 Report

    Jaekae
    Participant

    You’re right, the kids will be hugely affected.

    What does your solicitor say? Is it possible for you to challenge for main custody? If that’s what you want and provides a solution? What you’ve said about the court suggests you do have the law on your side but it may take more time to sort.

    I really don’t understand why people do what your ex is doing. How you can go from loving someone enough to have children with them, to behaving so cruelly. If it’s any consolation not everyone is like that.

    I’m sorry I don’t have an answer, but am here to listen if it helps. Maybe someone who’s been through similar can offer some practical insight.

    #51932 Report

    oneparent
    Participant

    It’s crazy. She has suffered depression before and during relationship, also had post natal depression. Some time I wonder if she having break down. .

    I’m lucky enough to have the children 3 night every other weekend but when they bother feel like mourning some one. Be glad when it all done try get some sort structure routine back.

    #51954 Report

    BLIMQUIM
    Participant

    Totally get the hamster bit. Luckly ive got the majority of the kids time but the stuff the kids tell me. Jeez. CPS are the ones doing the custody report and there not exactly helpful.

    You need to document any concerns and evidence you have. If shes a concern then take them to a solicitor to get a custody order. Good luck man.

    #51984 Report

    oneparent
    Participant

    Well this is it. She departed children by allowing some to stay with her mum ( even though she classed as disabled) and other stay with her. One of biggest concerns first hearing they said I have to rebuild relationship with my children, which I stated we wouksbt be here if she allowed some sort of contact instead she blocked all contact told me take her to court. With that being said she allowed our children stay over her auntys during lockdown but they haven’t talked for last 5 years yet she allowed stay over and refuse me.  So how can it be one rule for her and different for me.

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