does anyone relate

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  • #13675 Report

    Brown2016
    Participant

    I’m not sure if anyone can relate but if you could id be grateful of some advise and guidance.

     

    I’m a single mother living in England but from Ireland.

    I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 4 years (which I didn’t realize until i left).

    Since leaving (18 months ago) it has all gotten worse and he uses our daughter to do it and get to me.

    Hes trapped me in England, and ill have to pay 15.000£ to go to court to try and gain permission to move back home which i so desperately want and need.

    all my fmaily are in ireland, its home, he knows ive always wanted to go home and now hes using my daughter to stop it..

    hes just taken me through for for access rights and set visits (in which i had already given him) and whilst there accused me of child abuse, neglect and being at risk to my daughter as of my mental health. (i’ve got anxiety, and unknown to him, i now have depression.) which is getting so much worse.

     

    i’m really struggling to cope. I’ve had suicidal thoughts. I’m at a complete loss and have very little support in the community.

    has anyone else been in this situation or a similar situation that can advise the best route?

    because i don’t know how much longer i can cope living this life under his control, his watch and being petrified and scared and living constantly anxious and depressed because of everything. i’m an absolute shell of the person i was.

    #13679 Report

    princessmummy923
    Participant

    how old is your child? and also how far away travel wise is he from Ireland? also have you told courts about how he was emotionally abusive toward you?

    if he is still being abusive i’d suggest only contacting him via text messaging, this way if he becomes abusive you have written proof of how he behaves if you understand what I mean?

    My cousin lives in Northamptonshire and his ex moved back to Scotland when they broke up and he still sees his daughter almost al the time.

    i’d suggest explaining to the courts his abusive behaviour which has caused the anxiety along with the fact that you have no support as you have no friends or family around you and he is contantly using your child as a weapon, explain to the courts you are willing for him to have access regardless of where you live, my guess is he will slip up due to him being emotionally abusive and this will show through the courts as he will act unreasonable, the courts cant discriminate you because you have anxiety, but be open and honest about it even the depression and how he makes you feel!, and how being so secluded makes you feel, be reasonable and th courts will work in your favour!

     

    also have you contacted police with his behaviour?

    #13681 Report

    Faith
    Participant

    Hi I can completely relate and am sending you a private message now xx

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