Does anyone know how a child arrangement order works??

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Does anyone know how a child arrangement order works??

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  • #33229 Report


    My child arrangement order was issued thursdsy which I understood that the visitation set out related to time my ex could see our son and I have to ensure our son is available for these visits

    Whilst exchanging dates he has kicked up a fuss that the order states 2 1 week holidays a year and that I am unable to go away for 11 days

    Am I right in thinking that the 2 1 week holiday apply to him only

    Also thr morning after the order was granted I had an email to state that he was unable to collect our son on his first visit at the given time and that he was unable to have him for a weekend next year as he is going away. I have compromised with the pickup time and allowed a later time but isn’t this breaking the order already??

    It’s a minefield to understand so. I need to get it right

    #33233 Report


    You are right with your first point, that is what an order is usually for. But I’m guessing you don’t have the order thru the post yet? When you get it thru the post have a really good read of it,it will tell you clearly what is what re contact with dad. I can’t see that it would tell you you can’t go away for more than 11 days unless there are special reasons you haven’t mentioned.

    Believe it or not it is quite good that he let you know in advance that he was going to be late picking up your son and that he wasn’t going to be able to have him on a particular weekend, many ex’s might not have done that to be honest so that isn’t too bad. And yes the court would expect flexibility from both of you but bear in mind it has to be a two way street, he needs to be flexible with you too. If either of you took it back to court for minor reasons the judge would not be impressed at all.

    #33236 Report


    Hi Kath & Anonymous

    I was believe I was granted a living. Order which means I do not need my exs permission to do anything with our son. My obligation is to advise dates our son would not be available no later than 7 days beforehand.  The ex is pretty much disputing this and wants me to change my holiday to suit the order.

    I did alter the times of the first visit but do believe this will be the pattern from now with requests to change dates and times. Whilst I’m happy to be flexible the ex asked for this order and a point needs to be made where I will have to be an arse and stick to it


    #33237 Report


    My ex took me to court for contact arrangements, all got sorted in the court room with the judge but before we left the building ex told me he couldn’t have my son for the first weekend the contact order said, the contact he applied for because he was going to Switzerland and wouldn’t be back,I was a bit of an arse too as I told his solicitor he has to come back early or lets just scrap the contact order. I get where you are coming from, honest I do.

    My ex would just expect me and my son to sit waiting for him to turn up when he was supposed to. I got to the point of if he didn’t turn up we would just crack on and do something else, set off to the park or go see friends  but I wouldn’t carry on sitting there not knowing what was going on just twiddling our thumbs waiting for him.  When he did eventually phone me asking where we were it was a matter of he would now after wait for us to get back home. We were not there to fit into his life, we had our own lives. You don’t need to change your holidays to suit him nor would a judge expect you to do so.

    #33249 Report


    The holiday is booked for next year and only takes away 1 weekend of visits for my ex he just wants to be an arse over the fact he has 2 x 1 week holidays per year and expects me to have the same.  I think hes forgetting this was his request and we agreed to it which is why it’s in the order in the first place!!

    I’m happy to be flexible if its in the interests of our son but as he took me court for being unreasonable although there were no access limitations other than to introduce his girlfriend in a sensitive manner then its only right I stick to what he’s asked for right!

    #33265 Report

    Hi Dawt68

    For further advice and information I suggest you contact our single parent helpline.  Here we have a team of advisers which will be able to help you to explore your options.

    Hope that helps, Justine

    #33314 Report


    Hi Justine

    I actually have a call with my solicitor Thursday but if I need any help I have kept the number.

    We are now at he can’t have him until 6 as he is busy with his GF and her family which he can’t cancel so he’ll bring him back at 4 as per the court order!!! Totally unbelievable, if he wants to quote the order he should be picking him up at 10! I am without words

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