Hi I hope everyone is keeping well in this crazy year!
I will try and keep this short and not ramble. My son is 19 months old. His dad started making an effort a few months ago and in the last month has been really good. He took my son out today – he cried the minute he saw him then when he’s gone he has a lovely time with his dad no tears the minute he sees me again he cries so much and clings on to me for dear life.
I know he’s not upset when he’s out with his dad as he sends me lots of pictures which I’m thankful for and he tells me he doesn’t although we have had our differences I believe him he has no reason to lie.
Is there anything I can do to stop these real upsets s there not nice for any 3 of us. His dad works shifts so can only really see him the once a week, as a rule, we tried the hour at a time a few months back but it wasn’t really working I also feel if I say ok I will come out with you both the 2 of them will never bond.
I think it’s normal separation anxiety for little ones and part of their development.
I used to work in a nursery and babies would cry when their parents left in the morning, soon get distracted by a toy or friend, have a lovely day then when the parent shows up at home time they’d cry again. It’s that initial stress of their primary carer leaving them, then at home time it’s almost like little ones go “I forgot you left me and I was sad and now I’m sad again that I’ve just remembered.”
If he’s fine and happy when out with his dad I don’t think you need to go along, just try to minimise any fuss at handover or even quietly slip away while he’s distracted with his dad. That’s my plan when we start at nursery next month 😱
My daughter was like this for a few weeks, but I used to stop her from getting upset by talking about what she wanted to do the next time she saw me an we’d plan our next adventure, this kinda distracted her. But maybe 19 mo this is too young still an I’m guessing this is a thing that we hate to see but we got to be strong an help them through the seperation part. It’s so horrible an it makes me feel so guilty for them to go through this. Things will get easier
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