Do I make my 20yr old contribute financially to the house/bills?

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  • #28425 Report


    Hi, I’m finding it so hard to find the answers to this dilemma? Nobody seems to be in my exact position so that I can find out what to do.

    I’m a single parent to a 20yr old,  a 15yr old and an 11yr old and in social housing.

    Up until May I was receiving housing benefit, tax credits, child benefit, council tax 25% discount. Now my 20 yr old daughter has started working and is ‘horrified’ that I am charging her for living here!! I’ve now, obviously and rightly so, lost housing benefit and £70 a week tax credits and council tax discount and child benefit for her.

    Am I wrong to expect her to pay £100 week to contribute ? Everybody she asks either pays nothing or pays very little and I’m feeling like the worst person EVER!! The thing is my outgoings are the same, they haven’t changed, but my income has!

    Please can someone help so I know I’m not alone in this?? We are falling out over it and it’s getting so difficult !!

    #28435 Report


    £100 per week equates to £30 for her council tax, £35 for food, and £30 for bills.

    if she’s working full time, she must be earning £300 per week?  That leaves her £100 on tax, NI & pension, and £100 spending money.

    Sounds fair to me. She’s a grown woman, she needs to understand. Have you explained how much your income has dropped ?

    #28436 Report


    Yes I’ve shown her all the documents and letters in black and white so that she understands, we’ve had so many arguments about it.

    I hate that I question myself or am I being unreasonable but I struggle to support myself and two little ones on a part time wage, let alone another ‘adult’. I lose more than £100 a week if I added it all up so I think I’m only being fair.

    I get “ my friends don’t pay so why should I?” But she is talking about friends that have 2 parents, 2 wages, no mortgage !

    #28445 Report


    Yes, it’s normal for children to pay “digs” to their parents when they start working, I paid digs to my parents as did my siblings and many friends and my 16 year old daughter will be expected to pay digs when she leaves school and starts earning money. It teaches budgeting and a bit of responsibility.

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