17 December 2021 at 9:45 pm #63950
Okay so here goes..I kinda feel like I need to talk to other single parents who may have experienced a similar situation to myself and seek advice on how to move forward.
So today I consented go my decree absolute and therefore I’m no longer married. I was with my ex-husband for 10 years pretty much. I got married just over 2 years ago and he instantly became different. He’s always been a compulsive liar and many occasions I found out he had messaged ex’s or women with dirty messages or telling them he was in love with them. I took him back so many times and convinced myself that if he was prepared to marry me then surely he had turned a corner and really did love me… how wrong could I have been. Not long after our marriage, I found out something has been going on for months with another woman, before and after our marriage. I was devastated. He blamed her of course, took no genuine responsibility for his part in it. I was completely heartbroken, not only had he broken his vows, he humiliated me. He didn’t care, he enjoyed the single life after that, went on holidays, dating sites, would throw me a message or an email now and again to day he loved me or he was sorry. Not long after that, he started sleeping at a woman’s who he had met from work.. he’s 45 and she’s 20 years younger than him. He compared her to me, told me she pays him more attention, all whilst still sending on/off emails to say I’m the love of his life. The divorce was not what I wanted, I loved him with all of my heart and there’s not been one single day that’s passed by in 2 years where I don’t think of him and I feel like I’m grieving for a life I so desperately wanted. Filing for the divorce was not what I would have chosen to do, but he manipulated, gaslighted, lied, humiliated me. We have a daughter together and I try and be amicable for her sake.. but it’s so hard because he seems to pick and choose when to have her and it’s just not fair. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone as I do now and I just don’t know what to do to pick myself up.18 December 2021 at 6:01 pm #63956
Hi, I’m recently divorced also and finding it very tough. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and we have a 6year old son together. My advice would be to allow yourself to grieve but, I would recommend cutting communication with him for your own sanity if that is possible?18 December 2021 at 6:16 pm #63957
I’m sorry to hear that you are also divorced. Can I ask how you are feeling? What’s helped you to get through your divorce?
I have tried so many times to cut communication. I’ve now agreed to only communicate via email for dates/times for our daughter as I can’t stand the thought of him being able to call or message whenever he likes. I don’t want any kind of relationship with him now, which is heartbreaking because I was so in love with him. I have to be very careful how I approach things with him because he knows he could make my life hell if he wanted too. I just dread the thought of sharing parental responsibility with a man who thinks it’s one rule for him and one for me. It’s not fair on our daughter and I hate the whole situation. Sorry for the rant, I just feel the need to get this off my chest to people who may understand.19 December 2021 at 12:36 pm #63959
I have recently got divorced from my ex. I’m also struggling with the thought of having to keep the parental relationship going. I have 2 kids and would rather not have to deal with her.19 December 2021 at 6:33 pm #63962
Ah I’m sorry to hear that. It’s so hard isn’t it. I would rather cut all ties with my ex husband tbh too… I wish I could just take time out to heal and not have to bother with him again, so I feel your pain. It’s heartbreaking to think we were once in love with these people and they decided to treat us so poor. Just heartbreaking.20 December 2021 at 12:25 am #63964
Yes it’s hard to think about that fact. Going from this to that. I got married in 2002 so it would be twenty years next year.