Hi I’m a divorced mum of two, my ex is putting pressure on me to continue giving him half my benefits for the children each month, this does not leave me much but if I refuse we stop speaking and its then difficult for the children so I feel I must do it for my kids sake, it doesn’t leave me with much money after his direct debit goes out the bank each month, is there any benefits he can claim in his own right for the children so I can get him off my back, very stressed and depressed about this, any help appreciated.
Wow, why should he get any of your benefit? Do they live with him more than half the time? In which case he needs to put a CMs claim in against you and let them calculate the sum.
If the children live with you, benefits are meant to be for you to provide for and run a home for your children. They are not for a grown adult who doesn’t live with you. Why does he think he’s entitled?
If the children live with you most of the time, you shouldn’t be giving him any money, it should be the other way round. Sounds like he is dictating to you and has a hold over you. Assert what you want.
Thanks for the feedback, I have them 4 nights and he has them 3, he says he should get half as they are with him half the week but each month its a struggle for me, I wish there was something he could apply for, weve argued about it before and it makes things difficult, if I stop the direct debit I think wed need a 3rd party involved as don’t think we could meet to drop kids off without arguing and don’t want that, I have done this for 3 years for the kids sake so they don’t see no arguing but its becoming more and more difficult financially, especially as Ive recently passed my driving test and worried I wont be able to afford insurance etc on a car.
If he’s not eligible as a single person then he’s not eligible.
Worst case is he’d apply for the child benefit and say he’s resident parent which he’s not as that is a gateway benefit to the other benefits.
I would simply email that you will no longer be forced into further poverty by having to pay him your benefits. That there’s no justification and that you will no longer be financially bullied and manipulated into doing so. As such you believe that a third party will now have to do handovers as you do not wish to be inflicted with further bullying.
This is important to say as you need a paper trail.