Divorced advice…..all getting a bit too much 😢

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  • #14377 Report


    mum of 3, been separated for 3 years. Quite complicated but here goes…..

    own a small property no mortgage which ex lives in, have a pretty high mortgage on family home which myself and kids live in around £1500 per month. I have a part time job and get £700 a month, Ex pays the mortgage nothing else. Ex has own business and wages of approx £60,000 year.

    Now getting to court financial stages in divorce and he has lied about what extras he helps pay!!! I have been plodding on in our family home with huge bills no matter what I go around trying to switch off and cautiously not use, paying school trips, birthday presents for friends, uniforms, out of school clubs, Xmas and birthday presents etc etc. As totally embarrassed as I am to say this I actually struggle to be able to afford to get shopping most months for kids.

    Really out of my comfort zone speaking about any of this but really desperate and don’t know what to do.

    My lawyers advised the small property with no mortgage is not habitabil with 3 kids, but he doesn’t seem to grasp how much of a financial struggle it is to get through the month and keeps saying don’t worry you will be fine! I’ve done this now for 3 years and feel like I can’t cope another day of being so desperately skint, I have debts coming out of my ears since the separation and bank charges every month for going over my overdraft. Also now 3 years in arrears with housing rates.

    Anyone else been in similar situation or know what I should and shouldn’t expect?

    #14383 Report




    Sadly the consequences of separation and divorce are costly, and all single parents find themselves having to adjust to a much lower income.

    You don’t say if your ex earns £60k gross or net (after tax). Courts look at net income.

    If your mortgage is £1500 per month – your ex is providing £18K a year maintenance.

    When I went through the same process I recall being told that I could expect a third of net income. Which in your case would be about £20k p.a. (If the figures supplied were net). That may have changed so check with your solicitor.

    As for the property. Your solicitor should have  have helped you fill out the financial disclosure forms in which all assets, (property, pensions, savings etc)  liabities (debt, mortgage etc), income, and expenditure are listed? If you have any queries regarding his financial statement you should prompt your solicitors to request actual/supporting documentation.

    Your solicitor should also be able to advise on what benefits you might be entitled to; child benefit, universal credit etc.

    In your situation I would look into the possibility of re-mortgaging over a longer period of time to reduce mortgage costs.

    It sounds like your solicitor needs to be a bit clearer with you about possible outcomes.

    It’s hard to give any other advice as much depends on your (joint) finances.

    Hope that helps a bit. 🙂


    #14410 Report


    When the lawyers know you have property or money they are the ones who drag it on for longer.  Do not trust these people . They with hold information so that you don’t settle straight away in court and there is another one which will include £10 to be paid to the barrister.  They appear sympathetic but it’s so expensive.  Our divorce cost £50k and my husband has a well earned high flying job. He hid his money and I was the one who had to pay him!

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