Hi, I’m new to the forum and am just looking for support and advice. I’m still living with a verbally abusive husband and am about to begin steps towards ending my marriage. I have 2 children of 16 and 12 and am devastated about the effect it is going to have on them but I know that I cannot carry on like this. He picks fault in everything I do and constantly puts me down in front of others. We have been married for 17 years and the situation has got progressively worse as he is also a heavy drinker which has had an impact on the change in his personality. Tomorrow I am going to call a solicitor for the first time to discuss making an appointment. I want to have a little knowledge about the process before I speak to him about it. Is anyone else else on here still at this early stage or have you all been there? I have told my parents and a couple of friends but really don’t know where to start!
Thanks for posting here. I’m sure it won’t be long before other parents comment however in the meantime here is some signposting for you so you can explore your options. You have spoken about your husband as being verbally abusive. Womens Aid can advise on planning a separation. You can gain information about this by going to their website or contacting their helpline. Here are their details:
• Women’s aid – https://www.womensaid.org.uk/ This is organisation runs the national domestic violence helpline, but their website may be able to offer you information
You can also explore your options by speaking with one of our trained advisers. The helpline will be busy but all calls will be free.
• Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline – Freephone 0808 802 0925 Opening hours: Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10- 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4 They can be busy so callers can expect to wait up to 20 minutes before the call is answered.
Definitely call Womens Aid. They were very helpful when I was at the same stage as you. It’s good to talk to someone who understands.
With regards to divorce, some solicitors offer a free 30min appointment – I had a couple of these appointments with different solicitors which helped me understand my rights and next steps. Make sure you take notes as there is a lot of information to take in.