Divorce and children

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  SOLOMUMMY 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

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    Racheal21
    Participant

    Hi all,

    I’m after some advice. My ex has refused to give consent for divorce (two year separation) so now I’m stuck in a bit of limbo. Is it possible to contact the court to cancel or change the grounds of divorce to unreasonable behaviour as there was emotional and financial abuse during the marriage. I can’t really afford a solicitor as I’m a student nurse so money is tight.

     

    My orher question is how much do tou tell you lids? Their dad hasn’t seen them in 5 months. We have had numerous mediation meetings in which he promises the earth and makes me look like the bad one. Then he disappears again. My eldest has autism and is struggling. She cannot cope with the lack of routine and the coming and going and is currently on a waiting list for play therapy. He doesn’t contact me and I have to hound him for maintenance every month. Do I refuse to let him have contact and try to arrange regular visits via a court? I have been very accommodating with him, driving them to him in Southampton (we are in Essex) and staying in hotels nearby, booking annual leave around him but still he can’t seem to be a permanent parent in their lives. I’m at the point now where school is involved because both children are suffering. How do I go about getting something official in place? I would also want supervised visits as he has no idea how to look after them (when he has had them they have come home in very dirty underwear and teeth etc)

    sorry for the ramble I’m at my wits end!

    #22480 Report

    SOLOMUMMY
    Participant
    1. You cannot force a parent to parent and as such I would I’m afraid stop doing the running around and wait for him to step up or not as it may be.
    2. the child maintenance – go directly to cms unless you e used the calculator and know this would be significantly lower. You then need to decide if the continual prompting him is worth any additional payment versus letting someone else manage it.
    3. you could offer supervised contact but if he’s not wanting contact he’s  unlikely to welcome this. Though the hygiene you state isn’t great I don’t necessarily think this makes supervised contact appropriate.
    4. I divtvknow about the divorce question without looking through some information. You could get a free half hour legal advice session to discuss this.
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