Difficult behaviours after seeing dad

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  laura092k1 1 month ago.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #34098 Report

    Emily3
    Participant

    Would love some advice please on how I cope with emotions after our 3 kids (11 9 and 8) have seen their dad. We’ve been separated 2 months and they always come back tearful angry and upset and what with Xmas around the corner it’s going to be hard!

    #34101 Report

    Kath
    Participant

    You need to just carry them thru it. Talk with them and listen to what they have to say, listen to how they are feeling, you won’t have any magic answers tho. My only advice is to carry them thru what they are feeling xx

    #34128 Report

    Kanger1
    Participant

    Agree with Kath. Nearly a year down the line but sitting and listening and lots of hugs and patience seem to help. It is a new world for them and they can’t express or fully understand their feelings sometimes.  Just keep going forward 🙂

    #34130 Report

    Emily3
    Participant

    Thank you and yes I am doing that but main problem is 11 year old daughter who doesn’t want hugs or affection.

    #34141 Report

    Kath
    Participant

    There are times in my life when I haven’t wanted hugs and affection when I have stuff to deal with, maybe that’s the same with your daughter? But when I have needed a hug I have asked for one. I do understand that there is a big age diff between  your daughter and me but people of all ages deal with things in their own way.

    I don’t know how it is with your ex but would there be any chance of talking with him to see if there is anyway it can be made easier for the children?

    The other thing is while you are carrying the children thru this, you will need someone to help carry you thru your own emotional state because it will be  emotionally draining for you. If you don’t have a face to face person then come on here often and get any support you need xx

    #34152 Report

    amylou83
    Participant

    Emily3 i totally understand I’m going through the same thing.  It’s been 6 months since we seperated (his choice said it’s best for us all) he takes them out for a hour a tues and thurs and every time they have been with him they are a nightmare arguing and fighting there 10, 5 & 2.  They are supposed to sleep over once a week but the 2 older ones Dont want to go and the 2 year old is starting to not want to even go to him never mind sleep over so we decided it’s best not to force them and just take them out and see what happens (he lives with his sister and her

    child and I think they are a bit jealous because he is living with their cousin but he doesn’t think that).  Wish I could over some advise but just know your not on your own and if you ever want a chat just msg me.

    #34163 Report

    Emily3
    Participant

    Thank you Ladies. It’s just so hard on everyone but I’m hoping we can move forward with mediation but time will tell I guess. Meanwhile I shall keep talking to the kids and posting on here. 😊

    #34218 Report

    laura092k1
    Participant

    I totally understand what you are going through. my husband was up to all sorts when my baby had just turned 1. recently (she’s now 4) she’s been crying screaming  at the door when he leaves her back , and screaming she misses him. this is all completely new and goes on for about 15 mins. I just hold her ( if she’ll let me) and sit near her til it passes but it’s very hard. hopefully in time it will get easier for her but my heart breaks to see her like that . worse still the ex is expecting a new baby eith his new fiance, I’m dreading what this will do to her.

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