Desperation anxiety in parent, need help can’t cope

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Desperation anxiety in parent, need help can’t cope

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
  • Author
  • #61690 Report



    I really need help and support. I’ve been on the waiting list for professional help for coming up to a year now but still nothing

    i suffer with really bad separation anxiety from my daughter. She’s 5. I’ve had this since she was born. It’s so bad I struggle to go downstairs when she’s asleep, I just stay with her because if I leave her I miss her. She goes to school I feel like part of me has been taken away. It’s not as simple as missing my child, I know that’s normal. I get hot then cold, sweaty, my heart races, I clench my jaw, my eyes water, I feel sick. I hear another child cry or see another parent with their child and I panic.

    she sees dad every other weekend. I struggle with this so I work through it then when she’s home I’m home. But this school holiday he will be having her for 5 days. And I don’t know how to get through it. I’m struggling to fall asleep and jolt awake with a racing heart now that it’s the countdown to it. I’m having panic attacks. I miss her. I miss her so much when she’s not with me. I’m already working all day every day while she’s away. But I’m so anxious. So scared to be without her. She is literally my world. I’ve cried out for help with this as it’s making me quite ill.

    How do I learn to be okay with this. How am I ever going to cope when he takes her away one day for 2 week holidays?

    he is very difficult to communicate with. A simple request for a phone call would likely be shut down. I just don’t know how to be without her. Every time I get her back I feel like I count down to the next time she’s not here


    #61691 Report


    That should say separation anxiety 😩😩

    #61706 Report


    Anyone 😩

    #61707 Report


    Hi. I wanted to send you a hug.

    I don’t have any answers but here are a few suggestions you can try.

    1. Have something of hers for when she isn’t there. A favourite teddy can keep you linked together.

    2. A set of friendship necklaces that have two parts that fit together to make one. You can hold it and think of her.

    3. When you are in the house a baby monitor and making yourself go downstairs.

    4. Does your ex have any history of abuse ? Looking at trying to see why you feel the way you do. Ideally a good therapist but also something like hypnotherapy could help you explore why you feel this way.

    5. An email address you can send messages to her to ( that your ex and her can’t access but which gives you a way to tell her how you are feeling without worrying about putting pressure on her) or a journal to document how you feel.

    6. Speaking to your gp and getting feedback as to whether this is a symptom of an underlying issue such as depression or anxiety or perimenopause which may need pharmaceutical help.


    Anyway, good luck and thinking of you.




    #61710 Report



    Sorry to hear how much you are struggling and it sounds like you are really trying to get on top of this and doing the best you can considering everything you are coping with. so glad you have reached out. it’s so important you get some more help.

    Please go back to your gp if you haven’t already and use info from your post and make sure they realise how bad it is for you. You often have to be really explicit with GPs.

    I’ m also wondering whether there are any other services you could access for your mental health ie. a local mind organisation for instance or primary care mental health services you can self refer into. check out the website as they have leaflets on loads of different mental health issues with organisations that can help at the back…. they also have an information line……

    Take care and things can and will get better with the right support. It sounds like as you say you need some help and you ve been struggling on with this on your own.

    take care and sending positive thoughts your way X

    #61712 Report


    Sending you a big hug. I cried constantly when my daughter went to her dad’s for the first few times.

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)

Log in or register to reply to this thread

Log In Register