Depression

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  • #13733 Report

    Ismail
    Participant

    I’m single mum of three children I’m suffering from depression and anxiety, life is hard at the moment, most days I feel like I can’t do anything I feel like there’s a huge weight on me, my feet feel so heavy that I can’t get out of bed,

    but I don’t have the luxury to stay in bed so I drag myself out of bed in the morning I go to the bathroom and stay there for 15 min crying my eyes out I clean and calm myself, when I come out of the bathroom one of my children ask me “have you been crying mum?” I say no baby I have allergies my eyes are itching. I lost my job due to depression I couldn’t concentrate and focus on anything even though I was trying my best, the financial struggles made things a lot worst for me, my children’s father lives in a different country and has has another family so he doesn’t help at all. I take medication for my depression but I don’t feel like is working my GP told me to keep taking it and give it a time for it to work. i love my children more than anything in the world but I’m not being the best mum at the moment and that breaks my heart into pieces. I’m actively looking for job now I got few interviews but didn’t get any job because I get so anxious and tense as soon as I go in the interview room, but I’m gonna keep looking and try my best to find a job.

     

    Does anyone here have depression?  and how do you cope with it?

    #13808 Report

    Greenfingers
    Participant

    Hi Ismail, what area do you live? Do you have a good support network (family/friends)? and were you referred into a counselling service to run alongside the medication?

    #13811 Report

    Ismail
    Participant

    Hi DMP I live in north west London and most of my family live outside of the UK, I have Cousins but they don’t know much about my situation we hardly see each other. as for friends i had one friend she recently moved to Birmingham. I haven’t been referred to counselling but I will ask my GP to refer me because the medication isn’t doing much at moment.

    Thanks for the reply

    #13815 Report

    singlemummichaela
    Participant

    Hi

     

    I live NW3 Belsize Park north London area if you can travel to me I can offer you free support with interview skills. I have a great understanding of depression/ recruitment

    #13819 Report

    Ismail
    Participant

    Hi singlemummichaela thank you for the support I live in NW10 Neasden I can travel to you please let me know when you are free.

    #13878 Report

    Sarahlady1
    Participant

    You say you’re not being the best mum at the moment.  You also say you feel like you can’t get out of bed due to how bad you feel and you cry in the bathroom every morning.  You then go on to say although you feel very low you get out of bed for your kids, you pretend you haven’t been crying and you tend to their needs.  You put them before yourself because you are an amazing mama, despite the awful depression you feel.  Please hold on to that because it’s the truth stated black and white in your post.  You got this, you’re being the best you can be in very difficult circumstances.

    #13879 Report

    Greenfingers
    Participant

    Hi Ismail

    you don’t need to go to the GP unless you feel you need your meds changing, you can self refer into a counselling programme called IAPT. I believe they can help provide support to find/retain employment too, I’m not sure whether you will use the same contact details as me as we’re north England but google it and find the number on the net for your area

    #13891 Report

    Ismail
    Participant

    Hi sarahlady1 thank you

    #13892 Report

    Ismail
    Participant

    Hi I didn’t know you can self refer but I will definitely look into them thank you.

    #13914 Report

    Nemeton
    Participant

    My ex was the same and cleared off abroad too. How did I cope:

    First everything that reminded me of her was thrown out.

    secondly antidepressants did not work (I still cried all day. Everyday. For at least six months-year)

    third me and my two cuddled up ALOT (they felt pain too…why hide it and they need to cope too)

    four I read Anthony Robbins  ‘unlimited power’ then life changed because I got a grip of it thanks to his exercises.

    five I started voluntary work (still cant get a paid job mainly due to sparse ££, childcare costs and having to be home for my two)

    six took a course in Mindfulness. Really, stopping and focusing on breath every time I got anxious or upset was ACE. Eventually anyway plus Anthony robbins.

    seven started a local gingerbread group.

    eight looked for a girlfriend and realised they are mostly cheats or after s.e.x. so gave up but realised there were things I wanted to do with my life so began to explore those . Now I make a small income from my art and craft work !!

    Hope this all helps.

    Still alone after six years, however despite the lonely times , I sleep better and I don’t bawl my head off over the b…h.

    There is light ahead and your kids will make you so proud  (he misses out !!!)

    Steve.

    #13936 Report

    Heven
    Participant

    U guys are inspiring.

    #13973 Report

    Reggae88
    Participant

    Hi Ismail,

    I know exactly how you feel. It’s the worst feeling you can have. I’ve been suffering from the horrible anxiety and depression for most of my life and back then in the early 90’s it was rare for an 18yr lad to suffer from 10-20 panic attacks a day. I felt like a guinea pig as they moved me from one antidepressant to another.

    I’m certain that it ruined every  job and relationship I’ve had as who wants to be with a shivering, crying worrier.

    A friend told me to leave Leicester and do a ski season as a handyman in France. My god it was hard to do at first but after a few weeks I started to relax and 6 months later I was like a new person.

    I know you can’t simply up and leave but a change of scenery can be enough to break the cycle and if you can find a way to be part of a group doing something together, it might be the key.

    Don’t give up, and one of the best pieces of advice I was given is to recognise any negative thought or scenario immediately and switch it off. It’s nonsense and hasn’t happened so it doesn’t exist. Picture yourself clicking the mouse and dragging it to the trash (sorry I’m not computer literate).

    X

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