Deflated

[Jen]

hi 👋 deep breath . My first post . This is my first Christmas as a single parent , things are just coming to a head tonight as I have just finished work for Christmas break done most of my shopping and now just sat pondering life .its bleak . very bleak . So alone

[Moni777]

Hello Jen, How are you? Are you spending Christmas alone or are you with your little one/ones?

 

[Jen]

Hi no I have got my children with me I am currently living in my dads house have 2 children 15 and 8 so I am not alone I suppose I am just lonely it’s been a long hard year so I hope my next year can only get better . If I keep telling myself that hopefully it will be x everything just seems overwhelming doing everything on my own I was with my alcoholic partner for 27 years and I finally got the courage to leave but it doesn’t seem like I made the right move yet but I also know staying with him was getting harder .

[Rich1907]

Hi Jen. I just joined the forum so this is my first post too. I just felt I had to share my thoughts about your situation.

Take a few more of those deep breaths. From what you’ve said, you’ve been through a lot in the last few months. You’ve spent  27 years with an alcoholic partner so there is going to be a lot of change going on. Milestones like Christmas, New Year, Easter, birthdays, etc are going to bring up all sorts of feelings and worries. This is the first Christmas though – you’re making the first steps towards a new life.

 

Life may seem bleak and alone but it can only get better from here. Take one day at a time. Take Christmas as it comes. It’s going to be emotional but it’s the start of a better life. It might not feel like you made the right move but a year from now, you’ll look back and know it was. Deep breaths. You don’t have to do everything all at once.

[Jen]

Thank you for replying , yes your right one day at a time x

[Lorraine]

Hope it all went ok.  I too was dreading Christmas but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be (few things are).  Did it all go ok?  what are your plans moving forward?  I am trying to get a couple of things booked in to have things to look forward to and a couple of goals to aim for (nothing stupid like losing weight or getting fit – that ship has sailed!), something I want to do and that will make me happy.  Don’t know what yet but that’s half the challenge.  I hope everything’s ok.

[Jasid1212]

Well done for leaving lovely. It’s a hard decision to make and nobody likes change but in the long run you will wake up everyday not resenting the bottle.

[Jen]

Thank you for replying  . Christmas went okay as I had not expected too much but for some reason tonight I have cried for the evening I don’t know why ? I just think if I went back home I could detach myself from him but I would have  roof over my head !as it stands at the minute I am living with my 70 year old Dad . poor man  . I just so confused . But when I was with my partner life was getting so unbearable I couldn’t think straight . Now I have been away I think maybe I could of just put up with it , I don’t know x

[Jen]

Thank you for replying  . Christmas went okay as I had not expected too much but for some reason tonight I have cried for the evening I don’t know why ? I just think if I went back home I could detach myself from him but I would have  roof over my head !as it stands at the minute I am living with my 70 year old Dad . poor man  . I just so confused . But when I was with my partner life was getting so unbearable I couldn’t think straight . Now I have been away I think maybe I could of just put up with it , I don’t know x

[Jen]

Too true jasis 1212 always worried about where he hid them what he was like while I was at work etc ….

[Jen]

Thank you larraine, glad things went okay for you . Good idea I will try and focus on myself more this year . Well try x

[BGUK]

Hi,

I’m a new member and my husband announced a month ago he wants to divorce me (because I do not get on well with his parents!). I said I will change which I have and try to have a better relationship with his parents but he thinks I’m acting. Tonight I cried so much as the reality is kicking in. I am still hoping he will change his mind. We have a 2.6 yr old daughter and married for 6 years. I still don’t believe this is happening to me.

Where do I start? I feel very very sad and every time I see our daughter I cry. When I see our wedding photos I cry. Will she be OK? How will she cope with just seeing daddy less frequently? What do I say to her? I am very new to this!

[BGUK]

I am very sorry but I think I typed in the wrong box! Stupid me!

[Jen]

That’s okay xx so sorry for everything your going through life is so hard at times hang in there the only way I am coping is by not thinking ahead and taking one day at a time , I know easier said than done x

[George]

Hello, and happy new year. I’ve just found this website and joined immediately! My first Christmas after we separated in April. It’s been tough, and I was lucky enough to see my boys (12 and 9) regularly. But I still feel horrendous when I drop them back with their mum. I thought it might get easier but it doesn’t seem to be. I don’t really know who to speak to (most people I know are married!), and I have some really low moments. I’m giving them back tomorrow and I’m dreading that. I wonder if I’m being selfish (the boys seem happy and balanced) thinking of my own emotions, and I probably am, which is another reason why I don’t feel I can speak to anyone. I’m starting to feel I don’t know what to do with myself.

Sorry for sounding a bit ridiculous (I feel a bit silly writing this), but everything is feeling a bit difficult at the moment. Help!

[Author]

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