Decided to separate… What now?

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  • #42913 Report


    Hi there

    My husband and I have mutually decided to separate and I’m reaching out to ask what next?

    We have 2 children aged 9 and 6 and want to share responsibility. We jointly own a property. We agreed that he will move on with his mum for the time being and the children and me will stay in the house.

    I just want to know what are the next steps? Does this mean I have to pay the mortgage and bills on my own? Will I get any financial support? And what is he entitled to pay if anything?

    Sorry for all the questions this is all new for me and I would really appreciate any advice.

    Many thanks

    #42952 Report



    If things are able to stay amicable and friendly then you can decide together what’s best for everyone but most importantly what’s best for the children.

    I was in your position last year and I couldnt afford the whole mortgage nor renting even if we sold and split 50/50 or 60/40 so we have split the payments based on what I can afford and what he can after he has rented and paid Bill’s etc. He then pays me Child Maintenance based on the calculations CMS use and we decided to split contact on what was best for the kids (1 weeknight and alternate weekends with dad). As I only work 22.5 hrs I applied for Universal Credit and that tops up my wages.

    Divorce has been really straight forward and it’s all worked out the best for everyone. For us it’s been a positive experience and weve both just thought about what the kids need (9 and 5 years old) x

    #43026 Report


    I’m in the middle of it all too, 2 kids. Are you familiar with nesting?  That’s what we decided to do, because it seemed like the most stable way to separate for the kids. They stay home with the dog, instead of shuttling back and forth between 2 houses. So it’s us parents doing the back and forth, we’re sharing an apartment but we’re never at the same place at the same time. We’re either at the kids’ house, or alone in the apartment. Also we plan to save money by doing mediation rather than each hiring our own solicitor who charges by the minute, or 6 minute increments. We’re putting together our own co-parenting plan, you can find templates on line. Also you’ll need to fill out the Form E, and your monthly budget etc.

    #43029 Report



    that nesting was what I suggested in the first place but I wouldn’t have gone that far using only one appartment for the parents. Friends of ours made it work and it looks pretty successful and it takes a lot of the strain usually born by the children directly to the responsible adults. Unfortunately it wasn’t possible in our case but I really want to congratetulate you both for your responsible way of dealing with this situation.

    #43386 Report


    Im in same situation.  Same age children.  Iv decided to move though with the children being predominantly with me.  I needed a fresh start and didn’t want to be in the house alone.  We e decided to put the house on the market and him live in it and pay the mortgage.  We are amicable and just wasnt the best for the kids.

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