Dealing with your Ex’s partner

[LadySnowball]

Hi all,

I’ve never posted but would be interested to know if people have had a similar experience. My ex-husband walked out last year and had a mistress hidden away. My child goes to his house every other weekend. Initially, my child had no issue with my ex’s girl friend. However, they have come home this weekend and said that since the said girlfriend has moved in with her Dad, she isn’t being very nice, bossing them about, dictating what she can and cannot eat and generally a bit rude towards them.  I have encouraged my child to speak to their father about this but they feel they cannot and do not want to go to their fathers. I don’t feel I can get involved which is hard because my child is upset by this woman.  They don’t want me to say anything to anyone as they feel dad will just take his girlfriends side and be angry with them.  How have others dealt with similar situations?

[Chrissyk]

Sounds ridiculous but if u encourage them to be nice to her and speak to her then they will benefit, it’s really hard especially if she was the reason for the break but for them to have a happy time there, they have to get on with her. The relationship won’t last, once a cheat, always a cheat but they need to see their dad

[LadySnowball]

My child says speaking to her is a big no no and although they say they cannot speak to their Dad either, I am still encourage it. It’s just horrible to them coming from their Dad’s upset, saying they don’t want to go again. Lots of cuddles and positivity required I think.

[Kathymumofone]

Perhaps you could raise it with your ex and say your daughter is finding the transition difficult. He could help by taking them both out for some meals so they are on neutral territory, your daughter can choose what she would like and the girlfriend doesn’t have to cook and have her food possibly rejected. Not all the time, just sometimes.

[LadySnowball]

I think ultimately that is what I will end up doing. Going to monitor how the next couple visits go and take it from there. Could well be a period of adjustment on all sides.

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