I think the way I dealt with the controlling behaviour (regardless of addiction) is to establish in my head what’s acceptable and what’s not. Have clear boundaries. It’s likely he will push those boundaries and at times the boundaries in your head might appear a little grey but avoid facilitating behaviours you don’t like. The moment you excuse negative behaviour and ‘give in’ then he’ll expect the same the next time. Consistency is key. When you have a better relationship, with a little mutual respect then you can accommodate some give and take.