Dealing with separation

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  • #46448 Report


    Good Evening

    My husband left the family home in October last year. We have 2 children together, and had been together for 14
    Last Christmas was extremely difficult as it was the first Christmas without celebrating with their father.
    Since the break up it has been extremely difficult emotionally for me, but I have had to keep everything moving and as normal as can be for the children.
    My husband and I hardly speak and he does not make much effort when it comes to maintaining his relationship with the children.
    He has refused too discuss getting a divorce or arrange proper arrangements in regards to seeing the children.

    The children have got on with things pretty well and we always have lots of  discussions about how they are feeling. I have got on and adjusted to the new normal.

    I guess my question too those have been through similar is, it normal that I am still feeling a little  low after a year of separation.
    I do not in no way how I felt a year ago, but still very sad.
    I’m wondering if I require some form of counselling to help with the hurt and disappointment of how the relationship has turned out, and the guilt I feel for the children, not having their father around.

    Sorry if I have gone on a bit.

    #46449 Report


    Counselling is a broad spectrum of therapy and there are many different kinds, but certainly not a bad idea to see someone if you are feeling low, and it depends what you’ve been through as to what kind of therapy would help.

    Definitely speak to someone if you are struggling…. get the ball rolling.

    It’s definitely normal to struggle even years after separation.. (especially with the additional isolation that has come with Covid) .each person and each situation is different but it’s perfectly normal to  struggle and to need help once in a while.

    Talking to someone might help you find a way forward if nothing else.  Different areas have different services available, and different ways of refferal… but you can  self-refer which is much quicker but some of these services come at a cost.

    It might be enough to talk to some of the free services however to get you on track.

    Here are some links that may be helpful


    #46456 Report


    You might not think it but you know what you need, we are very resilient as human beings but even the best of us can feel emotionally drained, succumb to the mental overload ; it may just be that you need to talk to a friend or family member about how you are feeling and to is will help ease the hurt, if this doesn’t work then there is no shame or harm in seeking more help. Best of luck x

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