Dealing with it
25 January 2020 at 11:38 am #36107
Hi guys, first time post from me.
myself and my wife of 5 years (one little girl) separated at the beginning of last year and it all happened very suddenly.
she says that it wasn’t a sudden thing and there were big problems for a long time, however she never voiced these concerns as she had never been any good with any kind of communication, even with her own family through her childhood up to the present day.
Due to the lack of communication and very little explanation to all of this, I have been left feeling constantly angry, frustrated and just confused over it all which I worry will affect my daughter in the long run.
I cooperate with my ex and we share the parenting, I still contribute towards the finances, which I recently reduced to £100 per month, plus 50% of the paid childcare and preschool meals.
She is still unfortunately quite emotionally hard in me constantly telling me I was a $hit partner, more like a friend etc when we were married, which is what I remember at all.
Sorry for the long post, I would just like to try and get a better grasp in moving forward from this as I’ve tried but finding it very hard.
Thanks in advance.25 January 2020 at 12:16 pm #36112
Sorry to hear about your loss. If its any consolation. I am going through something similar. Well my husband claims I have neglected him over time and tries to justify his dirty ways by saying I didn’t give him attention. Yes maybe at some level I prioritised my children who at the time were 2 years old and young baby. He claims his been feeling like this for a long time but never actually voiced it to me. So when he decided to leave I was devastated. I am getting my strength from my children. Don’t get me wrong I have some very low days. I am hoping there is light at the end of this tunnel!!
Stay strong.. here if you need a chat.. Nikki25 January 2020 at 12:54 pm #36114
I’m sorry you feel like this, it’s do difficult isn’t it? Sometimes I feel like I’m ok and getting on with my life but then when I see my ex the feelings of anger come back. It’s hard because you still need to communicate with each other for the children. If she’s saying things that upset you could you explain this to her maybe just tell her that it’s in the past and you don’t want to discuss problems in the relationship but you’re happy to discuss parenting. This might be a tough discussion to have but she shouldn’t be making you feel bad. I really hope you can get this sorted out.26 January 2020 at 2:56 am #36126
If you share parenting, and can maintain a calm atmosphere while your daughter is present, she’ll be fine. As long as she knows her mum & her dad love her, and she sees both regularly, she’s still very young and will accept this style of living as the norm so don’t worry.
You just have to let the other stuff go. Harbouring resentment won’t help you so try to accept that you and your ex weren’t suited. You have a beautiful child from your marriage to be thankful for.x26 January 2020 at 11:17 am #36130
My friend.is.also.dealing witha seperationsee above post). He was extremely depressed all summer ( has 6 kids with his partner and astellas dealing with his physical injuries from car wreck, he has to deal with the total upheaval of his and his childrean’slives. I say this because I know he wouldn’t have believed me this summer, but with time. He is beginning to see the as t it is be ssd’s t to extricate yourself from a toxic relationship and that life still has a bit of its lucky add tre yet. Therefore I urge you to be strong and reach out to all the resources and help that is available to you.26 January 2020 at 11:19 am #36131
That should have read ..luster