Daughter & Mum relocating 4 hours drive away…should I relocate too?

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  • #55354 Report

    heartbrokendad
    Participant

    Hi everyone, I have a wonderful daughter nearly 2 years old, I’m devastated that her Mum has decided to move a 4 hour drive away from me. We’re both from London / home counties and have always lived & worked here, but had shared dreams of moving to live in the mountains (scotland, wales, france were all discussed) but for various reasons the move never happened, our relationship broke down over the past year, and my ex has decided to move to North Norfolk where her Mum relocated to a few years ago. I’m thinking the best thing for my daughter would be for me to move there too, as she is so young and has been used to having me around every day (I’ve been working at home since she was born, and have been fully involved, looking after her jointly with her Mum, based around our working schedules) . I guess I’m just struggling with the idea of moving 4 hours away from my own family, friends & support network, and feeling very isolated. I have a 79 year old Mum who I also worry about, and I’m currently living with her. Does anyone have any experience of relocating to a new area be closer to their kids, and how have you found the move? Have you felt isolated without your own support network? It also just feels hard to be starting a new life all over again.

    *edit – I should add, I would like us to give the relationship another go, work through things, but ex has made clear that is not happening

    #55363 Report

    Timefortea
    Participant

    Hello!

    Sorry to hear your situation. I can only speak from my situation, as my daughter and I live away from her Father (not purposely but that’s just how things worked out prior to our split. I think it would be wonderful for my daughters sake if her Father was closer to be around her more regularly  so I think that would be the same for your child.

    I believe in any instance moving away to a new location is a huge change for anyone especially if you have no connections within the new area and it could impact on your mental health having to deal with a breakdown from a relationship without your usual support network. I think for your own sake (mental health wise)  and your family circumstance surrounding your Mother it would be good for you to stay around her and make time to travel up to see your daughter as often as you can and find someone to look after her (if possible) for the times you are away.

    There’s plenty of times unfortunately I have read on here of people feeling alone and isolated following their sad situations and seeking to make connections so I think it’s fantastic that you have that and for you (in my opinion) to continue to be the best Dad you already seem to be you also need to look after your well-being . I do hope that helps in some way

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