Dating. Where to begin.

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This topic contains 12 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  Sherima 1 month ago.

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  • #23764 Report

    Blossom
    Participant

    I’m 18 months post separation and have spent that time reflecting and working hard on my wellbeing to get to a place of strength.

    I feel ready to start dating again but have no idea where to start as it was almost 15 years since I last dated. Anyone got any tips for where to start?

    Thank you 😀

    #23769 Report

    Shell1980
    Participant

    Hi there. I have started on a online dating site. I don’t know if that would interest you. Its a easy way to ease you into talking to people again. Xx

    #23775 Report

    Blossom
    Participant

    Thanks Shell1980.

    How are you finding the experience of online dating?

    Helen

    #23776 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    Dating sites can work but they do have their pros and cons.

    The plus side is pretty obvious but the cons can be a bit of a shock. The worst sites for cons are free such as POF, many people both male and female use these sites for entertainment rather than dating, they sit at home bored and collect people who like them but have no real intention of a relationship. Another con are the people, mainly female  (due to men vastly outnumbering girls) that literally line up the men to get taken out for free by a different bloke each weekend with no intention of even kissing them, let alone having a relationship.

    That said if you are very cautious and pick the wheat from the chaff you will definitely meet someone, just be prepared to put up with a few umm pics you’d rather not see and maybe a few perv messages.

    Personally I’ve been using a site for a few months but because I’m overtly cautious I’ve not met anyone this time around, (I have in the past), I have chatted with one lass but it didn’t feel right so I didn’t pursue it. I also don’t bother making the first contact, quite often each girl has a million blokes after them so I know if they make the first move it’s because they are interested, I guess that slows things down for me but while I’m lonely I’m not desperate.

    Good luck

    Mark

    #23777 Report

    Bka
    Participant

    Could never do online dating –  I’m to cautious!!

    #23778 Report

    Blossom
    Participant

    I do feel dubious about dating sites as I can imagin it’s easy for people to pretend to be things they are not and as you say Mark maybe not be on the site with the intention of being in a real relationship, how do you know who is in it for real?

    Hard when your a single parent and hardly ever go out be creative of other ways to meet potential suitors.

    Helen

    #23779 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    I can understand feeling cautious about dating sites but if you think about it meeting someone new in real life can be just as problematic, the last two girls I dated I met in real life and they both turned out to be utter nightmares! The only exception is if you’ve known the person for a long time in a non dating way but I guess that’s rare.

    Whichever way you meet someone there is always the risk that something will go wrong. The good thing about dating sites is that it increases the amount of potential partners and therefore increases the chance of meeting the ‘one’.

    #23859 Report

    Sare1977
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’ve been on various dating sites for about 6 months…. being a single mum of 3 I found it quite hard to get out & meet people.

    Yes it was hard to start as some men offer you the earth & some just chat then disappear!! I’ve been catfished, ghosted… but I still carry on x

    Can say tho it’s not for the fainthearded as some guys on there & no doubt woman are only after one thing, which is great if that’s all you are after!!

    My advice is be honest tell the person you are talking to what you want if they disappear then you’ll know what they were after x

    Please ask me any questions, I am actually in the process of starting up my own blog about Online dating x x

    #23865 Report

    Sherima
    Participant

    I tried online dating for a laugh and that is exactly what you need to take it for . I’ve met people who would just tell you a load of rubbish and I took everything with a pinch of salt and most of the people that I came across seemed to have mental issues so beware! Meetup and volunteer ing will help you meet new people . Don’t waste your money !

    #23872 Report

    SingleT
    Participant

    It’s like anything, there’s good and bad. Some guys (and I’m sure girls too) are only after one thing, and some say that in their first message! But I’m glad they do as I can then say thanks but no thanks.

    I went in very naively but you soon wisen up. Best advice I was given is if you swap numbers, phone  them at different times of the day. If they’re married (which a lot are) they won’t answer and you’ll know.

    I met and dated someone lovely for a short while. It’s worth a go. Just be careful x

    #23876 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    I’ve seen a few profiles of girls that make it blatant that they only want one thing but I’ve only ever been approached by one girl like that, I guess that as I make it very clear in my profile that I’m not into one night stands they don’t bother. I think it’s more of problem for you ladies but if you’re not naive and go about thngs with a little bit of cynicism and caution you’ll be fine.

    One thing that did surprise me about dating sites is that it can(at least for me) at time increase the loneliness, I guess it’s sometimes hard to not think ‘I don’t think I will ever meet the one, a girl that hasn’t got her sights on doing me wrong, a girl that is genuine.’

    #23881 Report

    Blossom
    Participant

    Thank you all for taking the time to reply.

    On reflection and reading others experiences Im not going to try online dating, I have worked hard getting to this point and don’t want to risk setting myself back by entering the brutal world of online dating. I will leave fate to do it’s job and in the mean time embrace being a single parent and continue striving to be the best version of myself. 😀

    #23884 Report

    Sherima
    Participant

    Honestly don’t waste your money . Meetup groups have a good range of people going to social events . City socialising is another platform

     

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