21 May 2021 at 10:05 pm #54536
I’ve been single now for nearly 4 years, it’s been just me and my daughter in that time. Her mum see’s her but when it suits her. I’ve been told I need to start thinking about myself.
So I’ve been on a dating site a while now and I’ve messaged a few girls, I’ve kept it witty and light and asked questions based on their bio but I’ve had no response and I don’t seem to get any interest.
As a single father I feel my identity is lost; putting myself out there is a big thing but this is just sapping my confidence and self worth. So it’s having the complete opposite effect that I hoped.
I’m seeking some advice and stories of your experiences.21 May 2021 at 11:15 pm #54539
Hi, I’ve recently started trying online dating too. And what I would say is…it’s not you.
I’ve had some very strange experiences over the last few months. And (amongst my tears, confusion and general w*f feelings) I’ve learnt that a lot of people out there in the dating world just don’t make sense!
I’m gradually learning not to take any of it personally and to shrug off the strange stuff and nonsense and keep moving regardless.
So…it really probably isn’t you. Online dating is a strange, brutal world where a lot of people aren’t even what they seem. x21 May 2021 at 11:54 pm #54543
I’m thinking of knocking it on the head like I say it’s having an opposite effect. Honesty and genuine people seem hard to come by on there. It gets me thinking whether I am truly ready to settle down again it seems a lot now with someone else to think about. But that’s something only I can figure out for meself.
What have been your experiences?22 May 2021 at 8:29 pm #54557
I will answer this – but I’m shattered tonight and it’s not the most joyous story to tell. But will reply properly soon.22 May 2021 at 9:18 pm #54558
Are you ok Kate?22 May 2021 at 9:47 pm #54559
I was talking to a fake person for almost 6 months . I knew they were a fake but if it was anyone else they would have believe d him. I’m a hard nut to crack but I I just listened to the love bombing where he professed his love after 2 days .man it was a joke . Honestly just don’t take it serious22 May 2021 at 9:49 pm #54560
I’ve just finished with my fella. What a waste of nearly 2 years I spent with that person. Hopefully enjoy my single life now and have one major stress over
If its meant to be it is don’t force it as nature knows best22 May 2021 at 9:53 pm #54561
Ah yeah I’m ok thanks. Basically I took a risk on someone for a NYE date. He knew all of my story – that I’d lived with a compulsive liar for 7 and a half years, how hard and awful that had been and how badly treated I was. There were good bits in that relationship but I stayed 100 times over because he was my daughter’s dad. He actually passed away just before 1st lockdown started so things had been difficult for sure. Anyway, it ended up being a relationship with this guy. He stayed here up to 4 nights a week, worked from home with me here, a lot of time together. After 3 months I discovered he was absolutely next level deceiving me. Like, my mind was blown by how bad it was. Sleeping with his ‘friend’ behind my back and them talking and laughing about me in their messages when arranging hook ups and stuff. And that was the least of it. I’m ok now, it ended just as Easter was starting. But it’s really knocked my trust in people yet again.
Had a few other dates since which have been fine when we met but then gone super weird!
I’m totally ready to be with someone and have the nice bits as I feel I’ve not really had any of that for about 8 years now. But I’m not ready to be lied to, messed around and deceived again. So it’s a tricky one. But yeah – I’ve just discovered there’s A LOT of people on these apps with serious issues. Even some I’ve only spoken to over message. Like a lot of them disappear for ages then reappear saying how their struggling and their head’s messed up and stuff in life in general. So many issues. It’s really off-putting! Struggling to find anyone who has their life in order and can look after themselves, let alone be considerate of other people! 😂22 May 2021 at 9:57 pm #54562
I had a very impulsive date with someone from Tinder to give myself something to put makeup on for and try and feel a bit better about myself after the fiasco. Knew he wasn’t for me the second he turned up. Was nice enjoy and we got on alright. But he announced he wants a girlfriend within about 5 minutes and he kept checking his shares on the laptop he brought with him 😂🙈. Think he was trying to impress me? 🤷🏼♀️ not sure 😂. (It didn’t.)22 May 2021 at 10:00 pm #54563
Hope you don’t know my NYE cheating scumbag Mr Marr…he’s from the same town as you😂22 May 2021 at 11:38 pm #54566
No I don’t know him Kate he sounds like a right scum bag. I understand how your trust has taken a knock after all that, my confidence and trust is pretty low as it is but after that I don’t think I’d ever bother again. It’s taken me 4years to get to this point and I’m only just dipping my toe.
I’ve taken a look at tinder man it’s full of the deprived one nighters and the fake, it’s dating for low attention span.
With all the nudging and encouragement I’ve had I’m now thinking lifes passing me by, as proud as I am being a single parent I don’t want it to define me, I don’t wanna lose my identity (although I feel I need to rediscover that).22 May 2021 at 11:39 pm #54567
Yazmin why did you keep that up for 6months?22 May 2021 at 11:43 pm #54568
Gingey in those 2years were you made promises?
Apart of me dreads the whole idea then evening comes and loneliness strikes. It seems impossible now.23 May 2021 at 6:42 am #54572
Yeah I think the fool as trying to break Me. Anyway he kept saying we must meet and cancel
I said to him you are a fake from overseas so I challenged him he was so sick in the head . Anyone would have fallen for it . kept bringing my child into conversation even though he wasn’t a parent. That is what worried me the most !
Nasty weirdo scammers. I joined to get a bit of confidence & although I lost 3 best friends to covid I have my sanity and I met lots of people just by going out walking and thru my job . Volunteering will link you up with people and meetup groups23 May 2021 at 8:23 am #54575
We been pretty much arguing all way through. We sort it out then argue again he is a lot older but doesn’t act it the way he speaks to me but cos I stand up fot myself don’t think he likes it but ain’t having anyone speak to me like rubbish and not stick up for myself
He does lots wrong but we can never mention it soon as I do something oh all my fault and we go over it
Got an operation next week and he would not even help he hardly here at mine. He lives with his brother and mum bit sad rly whereas me and my little boy have a lovely home and car and i work…well not as much but am looking for another job
He wants to settle down properly but he can’t with his set up. He is insecure he has told me but he wouldn’t like reminding. We argue every other day and break up so needs to be the definite this time. He is quite insensitive at times and it’s a shame i do care but we just don’t get on together now so I decided not to speak much this week he didn’t like it but yestersay I told him kts over and no point getting in touch as it makes it difficult. We broke up so many time and get back together but we don’t make it work so we clearly aren’t right to be together
Hope you are well