Date or devote 100% to kids?

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Date or devote 100% to kids?

This topic contains 20 replies, has 14 voices, and was last updated by  Cami_H 4 days, 6 hours ago.

Viewing 6 posts - 16 through 21 (of 21 total)
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  • #29839 Report

    Vix2019
    Participant

    New to site, agree so difficult.

    been on my own for 5 years after partner had affair. Sometimes have a weekend to myself depending of children want to see their dad.

    felt very broken for a long time after break up and worked hard to get myself back on track with life in general lol.

    had to sell family home and buy a new place and bring up two very you g children.

     

    5 years down the line, still often feel sad, loneliness can be tough to deal with , I feel resentful that I struggle financially with one income and trying to be mum, dad, nurse, doctor, social worker and best friend in my role as mum, then go to work and try and be great there to.

    dabbled in dating recently, but oldest son didn’t like the idea of someone coming into our lives, ( just entering stroppy teenage years) and I constantly felt defensive or guilty that some of my time was being given to someone else.

    he did not have children, which I think made the situation harder as he could not relate to my situation.

    i ended the relationship after a couple of months as just wasn’t happy and struggled with the balance of both.

    i keep hoping if I meet someone I really like things may work better and situation will gel better.

    i worry when the children move out in years to come it will be me and the dog! And a very lonely time.

     

    #29850 Report

    Cami_H
    Participant

    @abbyr Thanks for reminding us that there are many single parents who find happiness with another… hope and not giving up is key, otherwise what else can we do?!

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by  Cami_H.
    #30169 Report

    BluebirdSue
    Participant

    There is no right or wrong answer. In my case it has just occured to me that I am a person who doesn’t really like change. Dating weighs me down emotionally and mentally. Having said that I do get invited to social gatherings regularly which I like. Mostly I put my energies into work, pottering around at home and various hobbies. I don’t like online dating as I think its nice to be asked out. I have been single now for 6 months and I can honestly say I’ve never felt better 😀👍

    #30173 Report

    myname
    Participant

    I like the idea of one day meeting someone and being in a relationship again, but have no idea how that would happen right now.

    I’ve been on my own for 5 years since my son was born and the only time I really have not with my son is when I am at work. I don’t really get to socialise, partly it’s the cost of childcare, partly it’s that my son doesn’t like me to be away from him, and partly it is that I am very tired.

    #30221 Report

    aj25
    Participant

    Hi

    i’ve been following this with some interest and it’s really encouraging to see that i’m not the only one thinking about this.

    I’ve been single now for two years after my husband had an affair and walked out on me and our daughter. It’s been pretty tough because of his erratic behaviour towards our daughter but I’m now enjoying the freedom that being single gives me. I have very little social life as my daughter is with me the vast majority of the time but i work and try to use the free time that I do get to get out a bit, get exercise, do park run etc but am also quite content just to crash in front of the telly by myself.

    I’ve been asked by a few people if i’m dating again and been looked at like a complete freak when i’ve said no. I think to some people being single and happy is just such a foreign concept they can’t get their heads round it!

    My ex made such a monumental ***** up of things by moving straight in with the mother of some of my daughter’s friends and has done some truelly thoughtless things – repeatedly letting our daughter down when she was due to see him, picking up his step children from school and leaving our daughter sobbing in the playground as he was ‘too busy’ to see her that day, providing a bed for the other children but expecting her to sleep on the sofa, forgetting to tell her he had got married but sticking it on Facebook, – we have an almost weekly example of his utter stupidity – that she now feels totally rejected by him and is having counselling as a result.

    We are such a close, tight little unit now that i’m not sure where someone else would fit and I don’t want her to feel that anyone, ever will be as important to me as she is. I’m very aware that at the moment, she needs me more than I need a relationship and that it won’t be amazingly long before she is more interested in her friends than me and I will then have a bit more free time to do things for myself and maybe meet someone then.

    #30226 Report

    Cami_H
    Participant

    @aj25 I’m really sorry to hear how appallingly your ex husband has behaved, especially to his own daughter.

    My children have been repeatedly let down by their father in the past to now recently not even seeing him at all (which is actually for the best)

    I agree that these experiences bring you closer together.

    I do sometimes feel torn with the need to feel the closeness of a romantic relationship and the protectiveness I feel over my children. Considering what a rocky upbringing they have already had, their needs come first.

Viewing 6 posts - 16 through 21 (of 21 total)

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