Dad won’t agree to set arrangement

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  • #53811 Report

    P1990
    Participant

    I’m a single mum with an 8 year old daughter, her dad does groundwork and often works long hours and will happily work 7 days a week often taking her with him at the weekends.

    We’ve never stuck to a set arrangement as his work schedule changes, it’s pretty much he tells me when he can have her.

     

    I’ve asked for a set arrangement so I can be open to working weekends/ evenings as I lost my nursery based job over the pandemic and it may take time to find something else solely based around school hours.

    Unfortunately he won’t agree and says he’ll let me know when he can see her and that he sees her enough that a set schedule isn’t needed, this doesn’t help me be open to work commitments. He is self employed and able to work weekdays the weekends are extra for him, he earns good money has a nice home, drives a flashy car and constantly spoiling our daughter with toys often spending hundreds. I’m happy he is doing so well for himself however I need to earn for our household but I’m limited as we’re flexing around his work schedule every week I can’t be as available for work.

     

    Any advice? How can I explain to him the importance of a set schedule he just doesn’t care to listen to me.

    #53837 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    If he’s a decent, self respecting, civilized, human being you wouldn’t find he has any problem understanding you.It’s a basic.

    You have needs and want to organize your life.

    He,on the other hand wants to do whatever he wants with no regard for anyone else.

    I don’t think he will listen however you explain it- as you said’ he just doesn’t care to listen to you’.

    You can either twist yourself in knots trying to keep him seeing your daughter and making her happy or at some point you will put your foot down….and make rules.

    And become the wicked witch👹(couldn’t find a witch emoji)

    Have fun.

    #53901 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    Hi, is he paying child maintenance? You could apply to court for set arrangements, but they can’t force him to stick to it, and he can just say he’s not available and carry on working.

    #53922 Report

    Alipally
    Participant

    Hi , I could have wrote this myself !At the moment we are at loggerheads because of my ridiculous demands (I ask that he turns u<span style=”color: #1a1919; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; background-color: #fbfbfb;”>p </span>when he says he’s going to>

     

    I have no advice but wanted to assure you you aren’t alone , unfortunately some parents think its all about them and not the child!

    If you want to chat just message me id also like to be able to talk to someone in the same boat.

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