Dad saying I have to pay his travel costs if I go to CMS

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  • #6059 Report

    SillySally
    Participant

    just had a heated discussion at drop off as the kids dad is saying that if I go to the CMS to get them to confirm what he should be paying a month (as the divorce court order is about to expire) he will make them take into account his travel costs.

    He is adamant that he will tell them he expects me to pay half his petrol costs to come and get the kids fortnightly (£80)

    not that it has any bearing but he left the area to be nearer his mum and work well over an hour away and I stayed put for the sake of the kids in an expensive area rather than moving out Of the area nearer to my family which is an hour in the opposite direction to where he went too.

     

    sureky this is not true?! He says he has read it !

    #6066 Report

    genuinefella65
    Participant

    Is cms a new way of saying csa? Going to csa is the last resort to get money from a parent who does not wish to contribute money and or time for the child. What they say should be paid is the maximum taking into account that will not be seeing the child. Trying to have it both ways,maximum money and the parent spends more money in seeing the child is not the reason for the csa. The parent may take you to court for a court order to have regular contact with the child and the money aspect will be looked at,in my case,my ex ended up with less money that I had offered before legal proceedings. Remember the courts are only thinking what is the best for the child.

    #6096 Report

    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi there. Re CSA they will take into consideration your ex annual pay less any pension contributions etc. Travel costs/petrol is not taken into consideration. He’s just trying to put you off applying, as did mine only I received far more as a result of persuing it.

    re amount of contact this is nothing to do with the csa except that they will ask how many nights your children stay with the ex.

    please note that maintenance is payable whether the father sees the children or not.

    there is a useful maintenance calculator. If  you don’t know how much he earns they will refer to hmrc for details of earnings for the last financial year plus he will be asked to produce his last 3 pay slips.

    re genuinefella65 comments regarding court action for regular contact the applicant issues a C100. I don’t believe that SillySally asked about this. In any event all the courts ask is if the correct amount of maintenance/support is being paid. I’ve been there.

    sillysally you are allowing your ex to see the children every other week, which is all he would get if he issued the C100

    don’t let him bully you and keep fighting

    #6097 Report

    genuinefella65
    Participant

    So the moral of the story is to move so far away,the other parent can’t afford to see the child. If you can be bothered to read the csa website,their purpose was to collect money as a last resort from runaway parent. If you actually care about your child,assuming safety concerns,you should try and reach a mutual agreement.

     

    #6102 Report

    Duffkat43
    Participant

    Hi

    Travel costs do not effect the amount of maintence you will receive. My ex moved 2 hrs away and moans consistently about the fuel costs of collecting kids. When he bothers.

    My ex ended up with an attachment on his earnings as a result of messing about with payments. CMS have given him ‘the opportunity’ to make payments directly to me now.  And guess what, not one payment has been made by him.

    Get on to the CSA immediately it takes an age for them to get cases up and running. Make logs of call dates and times and call them weekly. You will have to keep on top of it as they won’t.

    Sadly if this is the only route, then take it, sooner the better.

    Good luck.

    #6115 Report

    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi everyone,

    Genuinefella65 has misunderstood ? I believe that Sillysally’s ex moved away not her.

    many thanks but I am well read on the CSA website. Travel costs are not taken into consideration .

    the purpose of the CSA is more than persuing parents for payment but also to ensure that children receive the correct amount of maintenance . Let’s be honest, the money received is only a contribution it certainly doesn’t support the children.

    sorry all but I thought this forum was for genuine people who want to support each other??

    sillysally keep going your ex is being unreasonable.

    #6118 Report

    genuinefella65
    Participant

    Support each other to achieve what precisely? MONEY!

    Besides genuine safety issues,you should not be using children as a business or weapon.

    Yes I agree a Father should pay money to look after his offspring but some genuinely  can`t afford the worst case scenarios as set by the csa,and be in a position to participate with their children.

    There is no equality among the sexes when it comes to relationship breakdown involving children.Unless there is a safety issue concerning the Mother,the starting position is the children stay with the Mother,and here starts the abuse of this position. Chasing Money above all else regardless of what is best for the children.

    Some Mother`s have managed to achieve a good balance of supporting financial help and sharing the upbringing of the children,with the Father playing a regular and frequent role with the children.This is also a benefit to the Mother who can have a rest of childcare and have an active social life of her own.

    Just remember,anyone can pass away at any moment,so do the best for your children,not just our purse.

    #6123 Report

    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Here’s a thought,  what if the paying parent was a woman,  which many are.

    It’s not just a safety concern that would prevent a child from remaining with the mother.

    genuinefella?? Unbelievable.

    I’m leaving Gingerbread because of the negative comments like the last post.

    Au revoir

    #6133 Report

    Poppy
    Member

    Hi there everyone,

    We’d just like to let everyone know that our forum aims to be a welcoming and friendly environment for everyone. Please chat with our forum rules in mind and if you feel like something on the forum isn’t fair or if you’re concerned about something, please don’t hesitate to contact us @gingerbread.org.uk">membership@gingerbread.org.uk

    Happy chatting!

    Take care forum users.

    Poppy at Gingerbread

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