Dad Really Struggling

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  • #35059 Report

    Dad-trying-hard
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,

    Any help with any of this is really appreciated. I feel I’ve hit an all time low and not sure how to proceed.

    I have a beautiful 3 year old, my absolute world. Her mum & I sadly separated a year ago. We get on well and she’s not used our daughter as a weapon at all. We have 50/50 split where I have my daughter half the week and her the other.

    Most importantly my little girl is happy.

    As happy as she is, I am struggling.

    I work for a small business & commute 3 hours a day. I still make it work with childcare.

    My problem is that I am being bullied at work by the director of the business.
    Made to feel bad about being late when I leave my house at 6:15, drop my daughter to the Childminder’s at 6:30. Rush to the station. Get to train that takes over an hour get to work 4-5 mins late past 8am start. Then repeat this on the way back to collect my daughter at 6pm.

    I’m constantly being criticised for a slight error in front of everyone. Sometimes no error my behalf and get blamed for other people’s mistakes.

    When mistakes are made by any other member of the team, nothing is said. For me it’s made very public.

    Im not playing the victim here.

    The constant remarks, degreasing dressing downs in front of my colleagues has resulted in me not wanting to go to work. I wake up every morning worried about what the days bringing.

    I am very good at my job (you’ll have to trust me on that).

    I want to leave….

    I’ve been told if I quite then you don’t get universal credits & job seekers.

     

    Is this right? When I’ve been bullied and bending over backwards so I can still see my daughter!

     

    Dont know where to go. Need help desperately!

     

    With universal credits & Job Seekers I can just about survive. Is there any chance of this? Or do  I stay and take a beating which has left me feeling lower than I ever thought possible

    #35063 Report

    Nikki79
    Participant

    Hi sorry to read this, the only suggestion I have is maybe speak to someone at ACAS before you decide to leave. They can give you some free advice on your rights. If you make yourself out of work you will probably find it hard to claim any sort of benefit and could end up in a worse position.

    Not that you should have to but do you have the chance to look for a job more locally?

    Hope you manage to find a solution!

    #35067 Report

    Dad-trying-hard
    Participant

    Thank you for the reply.

    im happy to learn  new trade.

    my biggest issue is if I resign because of the bullying as I can take anymore (I’ve never felt this way before) will I be able to receive universal credits to keep me going?

    everything I read says no.

    I feel trapped and don’t know what to do

     

    #35072 Report

    Daddybear
    Participant

    It’s a crazy life. Good people being rubbished. Hope my message helps

    What is Your work skill?

    When ever you are treated poorly as of tomorrow send a courteous email to your boss asking him to refrain from us.

    Additionally, let him know verbally initially how you feel about your treatmentby him. If nothing changes then put in writing.

    If he continues pop in to your local citizen advice bureau. They will write a letter which will wake your boss up.

    Am pretty sure that you can claim Jobseekers if you leave employment due to poor treatment.

    Have a read below link

    https://worksmart.org.uk/work-rights/losing-your-job/leaving-your-job/will-i-lose-out-benefits-if-i-leave-my-job-voluntarily

     

    #35089 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    It’s a hateful thing to do. I had exactly the same when my ds was 5. My boss rang me at 9am every day as I walked from the Car park to the office and berate me for being late. She hated the fact that I had a child.

    I refused to leave so she put me on a PIP and tried to get me out that way, and finally paid me off.

    It was really tough, left me stressed and lacking in confidence. And it’s pure bullying.  Can you apply for other roles now?

     

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